i feel like such a burdon all the time. whats up? i'm geting the feeling that no mater who i'm with i'm couseing truble for them, its not fair.
i have no right to be like that. my life may be missrable but thats now reason to make it the same for others.
i can feel my true self dieing more and more all the time, slowly turning me into an empty shell. i cant ever try any more with out couseing truble for some oneeles.
i cant exsplan it. this deep feeling of sorow that dwells in my hard and constintly rises within my soul.
maybe it comes from my trubles with love? aidians now full on with eve as his girfriend. in the RP i was going to make a guild where yardena was but then i though about it. thats not a good idea at all. i dont want to make more truble then i allredy am with out even trying. every time i try to love again some one gets hurt and even dies.
in real life and on gaia. why should i try and love when i know its only going to end up with the other person being hurt and me cruushed? my moms allways telling me to look nice and all that stuff so i'll get a boyfriend but i can never get one so with avodeing hurting them i hurt my mom. every where i turn its nothing but pain. every mt beautiful dreams have turned cold and lonly.
i cant stop crying wher ever i turn... theres never going to be any one to save me is there?
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