Wow, it's only been like 4 hours after I had the worst feeling in my life, the day goes by so slow. Right now I decided to eat after throwing up several times within these few hour. I'm trying so hard to talk to him as if nothing has happened, but it has. I'm tryin to make it seem like it doesn't but doing that, isn't making my heart ache even more. I shouldn't cover up my feelings, I've been doing that my whole life and look where it's got me. It's lead me down the road to depression, so even though I don't wanna let out my feelings right now, I must. I keep reading that damn message and each time I read it I get more and more bitter. I feel like I'm in Diary of Mad Black Woman, I just wanna...ugh...I don't even ******** know. It's like we've been together years, for years he told me he loved me and now all I can think is "Why did he lead me so far down this beautiful, long road to lead me to a dead end such as this..?" I know he didn't mean, I know he's struggling as much as I am. I mean he is torn between two girls... Right now the whole room looks dark to me, even inthe lightest room, I feel like hatred and gloominess had taken over all my body. Any sign of happiness and hope is gone, maybe my a*****e of a dad is right. Maybe love isn't meant to last, right? But, deep inside I always though ours would, I still think it will, but then I don't know. I don't even wanna sing anymore, I don't wanna do anything but mourn and sob...
3 R 1 1 n · Sun May 18, 2008 @ 08:14pm · 1 Comments |