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Book Of Doom
Rapunzel Rescue!


A fifteen walked uh danced into the king’s room. Blond hair, blue eyes, and angel wings! Sounds heroic doesn’t he? Did I forget to mention the hyper and randomness? Oops silly me.
“Hello Muffin Man! It is I Airo!” Bellowed the um..... hero who still hasn’t stopped dancing.
“I am not the Muffin Man!” How the king can talk so clearly with his enormous beard I will never know. Oh who am I? I’m Flare the narrator.
“Would you shut up!” Airo yelled shaking his fist in the air.
Oh fine. Ruin my fun.
“Anyway my daughter Rapunzel is trapped in a castle by a evil enchantress and is stuck in a tower. I need YOU to save her.” ‘Was he really the only hero not busy?’ The king thought.
“Ms. Muffin is stuck in a giant toaster?!” Airo exclaimed now spinning in a toaster.
“Uh.....yea sure....” A sigh escaped from the kings lips.
Airo sat on the king’s lap. He looked up at him with child like innocence in his eyes. “Can I have a fire truck for Christmas Santa?”
“GET GOING!” The king threw Airo off his lap.
“EEP!” With that Airo embarked on his quest.



Airo set off at a leisurely pace. He became slightly annoyed by the seclusion of the quest.
“There’s no one to bother!” He ranted to the air. Eventually he mellowed.
“The wheels on the bus go round and round!” He sang horribly.
When night approached his hyper energy disappeared and he became lethargic. As soon as the moon rose he would hit the ground asleep.
Eventually he came to four doors. “Hmmmm N S E W that must mean No Silly Ear Wax! I shall save you Silly Ear Wax!” Airo got into his running stance.
Just go through the N door.
“No! Mommy told me not to listen to the voices!” Airo sniffed. The air was full of smoke. He looked around for a fire but no luck. Then he looked behind himself........ he’s butt was on fire!
Airo screamed. “MY BUTT’S ON FIRE! I’M A AIRO ROAST!” He frantically rolled around. After a while he began to run around hitting trees until he fell into a well.
Now will you go into the N door?
“Y-yes...” He shivered.
Good boy!
Airo crawled out of the well and shook the water off himself like a dog. When he stood up pants fell on his head.
Put some pants on! Your killing the readers eyes!
“Your fault my pants are ashes!” He hopped on one foot and put them on. “Tight! Tight!” He complained.
Just go through the N door!
Airo slowly pushed the door open. A sinister creak came. He slowly waled through. A evil aura resonated throughout the place. Shadows danced swiftly and mingled with each other. Fear ran through Airo. Panic ran through the core of his very soul!
A shadow crept up behind Airo. “BOO!”
“AHHHHH!” He jumped fifty feet in the air and hid behind a rock. “Now I need a new pair of pants!” He cowered.
“Oye it’s just a little baby!” Airo slowly got up. He looked up at the shadow yet it was not a shadow it was a ghost! It was the ghost of a ugly......little ogre!
“It’s a mini troll!” Airo leapt at the ogre and squeezed him into a bear hug. “I shall call you squishy!”
The ogre spirit picked up a stick and bashed it into Airo’s knee. “I’m a ogre not a troll!”
Airo screeched and grabbed his knee. He jumped up and down and hoped the pain would go away. “Owie!!” The spirit laughed so much that if he wasn’t already dead he would have died laughing.
Airo sniffed and wiped the tears from his eyes. “You’re a ghosty! You aren’t supposed to be able to do that!”
The ghost stopped laughing and got up off the ground. “Well I’m a special gh- hey don’t you walk away from me!” If there’s one thing the ghost hated more than baths it was someone walking away from him.
“Sorry squishy! I must save Ms. Muffin!” Airo posed heroically. The ghost grabbed another stick and began to beat Airo repeatedly with it. Airo tried running away but his attempt at fleeing was futile! Then he remembered the wings on his back and tried flying away but that also ended fruitless.
“Leave me alone!” He pleaded with the ghost. He got on his knees and groveled at the ghost’s “feet.”
“I have to give a message to the wee little baby.” The spirit told him. He’s face had a most regal expression.
“What would that be?” Airo asked now curios and excited. Maybe he won a lotto! Maybe he was the new king! Maybe he would get a sandwich!! Airo drooled at that last thought.
“Go through the East door”
“What? That’s it?! Rip off artist!” Airo tackled the ghost only to end up going through him this time and crash into a tree.
The ghost rubbed his head. “I haven’t had a headache in centuries! Just get going!”
Airo using he’s brain for once got up and flew away. He sung “I believe I can fly” the whole way. He appeared back at the four doors! The N door was now locked.
“Your kidding me!” He hollered and stomped the ground. “Now what did the ghost say? Oh yea never have pickles with ice cream!”
No you empty headed imbecile!
“Oh no the voices are back! Don’t make me poke you with a Q tip!” He took one out of his pants.
Go through the E door!.......What happened to your pants?
“Uhhhhhhh noooooooooothing.....” He blushed and covered the wet spot on his pants. Laughter filled the air. “Hey!” Airo shook his fist at the air only to have a pair of pants fall on his head. “Oh my god I’m blind!” He ran around hitting many trees in the process. Take the pants off your head and put them on!
Airo took the pants off his head. “I can see!” He took a deep breath. “ I can see clearly now, the rain is gone! I can see all obstacles in my way! Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind!”
Shut up! Your killing everyone’s ears!
“I’ll sing louder!” Before he could take a breath the door swung open and Airo was sucked inside! “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Everything went black for Airo.

Airo awoke to a woman besides him. She wore a multi colored dress, her brown hair tucked behind her ears, and her yellow eyes glistened with life. This was Dusk! A girl who was just like Airo. She poses and acts like a completely different person when using them. Some say her and Airo are soulmates.
“You are awake brave hero!” Instead of her usual high pitched squeal her voice was sweet and soothing. It sounded as if she was singing. Airo was more interested in the food laid out around them than the girl.
“Oh my love you have come back!” He’s eyes sparkled.
Dusk smiled. “Yes I have Airo!” Her heart sank when she saw Airo hugging a ham sandwich.
“Oh sandwich let us never be apart again!” As he was about to cram the whole thing into his mouth he saw Dusk out of the corner of his eye. “Can we have some alone time?”
Dusk threw herself at him and hugged his arm tightly. “Oh Airo my darling be with me and you will live forever!” She raised her head and tried to connect her lips with his.
Airo turned his head away from her. “No food is my only love!”
Dusk squeezed him tighter. She gave up trying to kiss him. “We can love each other for all time! As husband and wife!” She pleaded. Her heart beat wildly.
“Woah I’m getting out of here and away from you crazy lady.” Airo picked up all the food he could carry and walked away.
Dusk watched him walk away. Each step he took was another crack in her breaking heart. She sat herself on a rock and sobbed. “Why won’t he love me.......”

Airo found himself back at the four doors. “Okaaaaaaay now what?”
Go through the west door.
“Ooooooo a butterfly! Come back Tiffany!” Airo chased a small blue butterfly far far away.
“Huff huff I’ll get you yet........ just let me catch my breath.” Airo passed out on the ground. Suddenly a cage fell down on him! Airo was now trapped! Airo swung around on the bars at the top. “I’m a monkey!”
The butterfly he was chasing began to change shape! It turned into a girl! Her hair flowed like water, her dress looked like scales on a dragon, and her eyes were as cold as ice. This was the evil enchantress! Never have you meet a more evil girl!
“Vapor!” Airo yelled. He forgot he was hanging upside down and fell. “Ow!” He rubbed his head.
“You moron!” She yelled. Airo cowered.
“Hey wait why did you capture Rapunzel?” He didn’t dare look at her.
She was annoying me with all that I’ll spread joy and goodness to the hearts of my father’s people and the rest of the bull. I had to shut her up somehow.” She paused. “I’ll leave you here to die. Bye bye moron!” She disappeared in a cloud or mist. Only a puddle of water was left behind.
“Okay keep your cool keep your cool.....don’t panic......dooooooon’t panic........ I’M GOING TO DIE! I’M SO PANICKING RIGHT NOW!” Airo ran around and around. He screamed at the top of his lungs. If you heard you would have become deaf.
“I know what to do!” Airo dug through his shirt and pulled out the ham sandwich he took from Dusk. “Save me Hametta! You are my only hope!” He threw the sandwic- “Hametta.”
Fine. He threw Hametta between the bars of the cage. Hametta landed right infront of the cage. “Bet time!” Airo hit the ground with a loud thud. He fell asleep faster than you could count to two.
When Airo woke up the cage was no longer there. “Yay!” Airo did his happy dance. A turkey sandwich was next to Airo’s precious ham sandwich. “What your leaving me for him?!” Airo cried. The sandwiches did nothing. “Fine if I can’t have you no one can!” Airo stuffed the sandwiches into his mouth and swallowed. “That hurt me more than it hurt you!”
In the distance Dusk slowly walked away. She twirled the key to Airo’s cage on his finger. “Stupid sandwich....” She muttered.

Airo was back at the four doors. “Now which one should I go through?” Airo scratched the back of his head.
Go through the west door.
“Yes voice!” Airo put his hand on the door handle.
Your not going to fight me on this?
“Nope!”
What have you done with the real Airo?!
“Sorry voice but I must go save Ms. Muffin!” Airo went into a heroic pose.
Much better! This is your last door! Hurry!
Airo opened the door but nothing was beyond it. “What’s going on?” He had a dreaded sinking feeling. It wasn’t a feeling he was actually sinking into the ground!

Airo crashed into the ground. “Look at all the birdies!” After the birds went away Airo got up. Huge bulls foaming at the mouth were running around and he was about to get trampled by them! Airo screamed and ran. They chased him in a continues circle again and again and again and so on. All that was missing was Benny Hill music.
Eventually Airo figured out that if he was flying they couldn’t get him. Airo flew up just enough so they couldn’t reach him. “Get me now bulls!” Airo mooned them. All of them jumped at him. “AHH BAD STEAKS!” Airo pulled up his pants and flew higher.
Once the bulls forgot about him Airo got a idea. He jumped onto one of the bulls backs and grabbed it’s horns. “Onward to the tower!” The bull set off at alarming speed. Airo could barely hang on. The bull ran right into the moat!
“Now I need another new pair of clothes!” The bull simply climbed out of the water and ran back to join its family. “Hey you can’t leave me! Wimp!” He yelled at the bull. Airo felt something nipping him. The moat was full of snapping turtles! Airo screamed girly and swam the fastest he could to the other side. He pulled the snapping turtles off himself. “First my butts burnt and now it’s eaten!” He cried. Singing was heard from the only window on the tower.
“I’m here to save you! Do you have a rope?” A long braid of golden hair fell from the window. “I’m supposed to climb this?”
“Yes O brave hero!” Came a female voice. Airo started to climb up. “Ow! Your heavy!” She shrieked.
“Well excuse me!” He climbed into the room. There in the room was a girl in a pink and while dress, shiny golden hair, and sparkling emerald eyes. This was none other than Rapunzel! “I’m here to rescue you Ms. Muffin!”
Her eyes widened when she recognized her hero. “No not you! Someone save me!”
“Nonsense! I’m saving you!” Airo threw her over his shoulder and went off to see the king.

And so the king was reunited with his daughter. Rapunzel went back to spreading good to all people. Vapor starting making a new plan to shut Rapunzel up. The ghost was able to rest in peace. Dusk devoted her time making a love potion strong enough to work on Airo. Flare the narrator went on the working in movies. Airo received a turkey for all his deeds.

The
End






User Comments: [1] [add]
Shiny Abra
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sat Jun 28, 2008 @ 06:32am
ROFL! funneh!! ^^!!!


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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