Have you ever had those days when your thoughts and feelings are eating at your insides? When your mind is so messed up that you can actually feel the pain? I had one of those days today. Sad part is that it started when I woke up. Most of the pain is from my family and friends. My mom, who never seems to be proud of me. My old sister, who constantly gets on my case about stupid s**t. My younger siblings who never listen. Then there are my friends. The ones who never seem to call or talk to me. The ones who constantly hit on me. The ones who do nothing but talk about their ex even though "I'm so over him/her". I think that all I need right now is a headset, a working computer with Teamspeak and 3 hours to talk to Zen and Cheshire. They try(and to a pretty damn good job) and understand me. I need someone or something that I can rant to. I need the courage to tell my mom exactly what I want and need to say. I need time to think things out. I think that stress is what makes me so dangerous sometimes. All these thoughts and feelings that I don't have the chance or the courage to say. Maybe I should try and say it anyway....then again actually saying what should be said is harder than thinking about it. I need get a new headset so I can talk to Zen...he always seems to have enough time and patience to listen to me b***h and whine. He always seems to have advice for me too. Ah well, I'll work on getting a new headset and maybe the next time I post it won't be quite so bitchy and whiny.....I'm going to go get a cup of tea...
 The Only Death Note · Thu Jul 03, 2008 @ 12:02am · 1 Comments |
