As life goes on people change. The change in people cause the world we live in to change. I've yet to tell if the changes are right or wrong.
One thing is for sure. When I think that I have everything figured out life has handed me. Another curve ball of an event is thrown in my direction and I'm yet again lost in the shuffle of every day life. Though the whole world isn't changing around me.
Like the ever blue sky or the green grass. All of which I've yet to understand why God had made them those colors. A question I'm now sure I will start to wrap my always running and chaotic mind around.
The sun still rises though it seems sometimes that one day it will do other wise. The moon still shines though some times I can't seem to find it. Whether it be a new moon or simply the fact that the night sky is far to big for the human mind. It seems that the answer shifts more towards the ever rolling clouds that seem to like to dampen my thoughts.
If God intented for the sky to be blue then why is it that I see far more white or grey. I know that my location has almost everything to do with it but why do it have to be where I am? Will there ever be a day when the world shifts and soon it won't be me to see the ever darkening clouds but rather another soul in a far off place where they seem to steal all of the wonderish blue. But then again the clouds can be so comforting. To let me remember where I am and why life swirls and twirls.
I can't begin to even try and name all of the countless times that I've wandered under the clouds. The mornings always seem to be the ones that would melt into my brain. Walking to school had it's ups and downs I can tell you that right now. Though the clouds would get on my nerves the days that they would decide to rain on my parade...
There was still the enjoyable breezy, spine chilling morning with my hands into fists stuffed into my black sweat shirt's pockets to keep them from freezing though they grew stiff and I feared they might snap off if I moved them.
I would always stare off into the clouds with what ever song was the flavor of the week playing in my head phones. The wind would swirl around me and my hair would blow into my face. Blurring my vision which would either be on the gray sky or the gray side walk at my feet.
As much as I had grown to hate the gray over the school year for all it brought was rain. There was the moments that I would feel otherwise. Even now though I stare at the blue sky that lays outside my window I wished that the school year would start and my comforting blanket who return to me.
I would lose my thoughts in it over the troubling nights with who ever it was that I faced. Most of the time it would be the on going battles of the heart in my chest that seemed to call out to everything that moved. A thing that I would curse on those cold walks whether it was the person that I had gotten into with that I was cursing or my heart.
When the mornings weren't a swear fest most of it would be singing. Though I didn't like the idea of being on stage to the people that would be driving by on 122nd looking at me as though I was crazy. I wasn't about to blame them. Everytime I would drive by someone and it looked as thought they were talking to themselves I would think the same thing. Though I wasn't talking more or else.
I'm sure that the evil glares that I would shoot off at the people driving by didn't help either. I'm sure they were thinking I was having my cursing fit that normally only lasted in my mind. Those glares where meant for someone else and wasn't so much for show.
I don't think that I've ever stared into those dark clouded skys that seemed always unchanged though with hopeless eyes. Like now where I stare out and can feel that my eyes have sunk back into my head and I feel as though I could possibly be the walking dead.
I wonder what horror film I had jumped out of.
No... My look was always deep or blank as if searching for the answers of life in the clouds or not looking for an answer at all. Well that is except for the one of escape.
Though the summer blue is nice I seem to find myself home sick for the darkness of my clouds.
The cold fall mornings of my black sweat shirt zipped up half way showing off my tanktop under it and the long scarf wrapped around my neck either dancing in the wind blowing against me or wrapping around my legs as I walked. The normal blue denim jeans and whatever shoes whether it was my converse or my black sneakers. Which ever ones seem to suit me for the day. My hands always shoved in my pockets with my ipod tight in hand and the head phones jammed in my ears. Short red strands of my hair whipping into my eyes as my head either hangs or it tilted towards the sky.
One thing remains the same. My eyes will always feel as though my iris's are swirling as I glaze at the curious world around me that was almot my own person drug. Be it what ever thought was in my mind.
One thing is for sure. When I think that I have everything figured out life has handed me. Another curve ball of an event is thrown in my direction and I'm yet again lost in the shuffle of every day life. Though the whole world isn't changing around me.
Like the ever blue sky or the green grass. All of which I've yet to understand why God had made them those colors. A question I'm now sure I will start to wrap my always running and chaotic mind around.
The sun still rises though it seems sometimes that one day it will do other wise. The moon still shines though some times I can't seem to find it. Whether it be a new moon or simply the fact that the night sky is far to big for the human mind. It seems that the answer shifts more towards the ever rolling clouds that seem to like to dampen my thoughts.
If God intented for the sky to be blue then why is it that I see far more white or grey. I know that my location has almost everything to do with it but why do it have to be where I am? Will there ever be a day when the world shifts and soon it won't be me to see the ever darkening clouds but rather another soul in a far off place where they seem to steal all of the wonderish blue. But then again the clouds can be so comforting. To let me remember where I am and why life swirls and twirls.
I can't begin to even try and name all of the countless times that I've wandered under the clouds. The mornings always seem to be the ones that would melt into my brain. Walking to school had it's ups and downs I can tell you that right now. Though the clouds would get on my nerves the days that they would decide to rain on my parade...
There was still the enjoyable breezy, spine chilling morning with my hands into fists stuffed into my black sweat shirt's pockets to keep them from freezing though they grew stiff and I feared they might snap off if I moved them.
I would always stare off into the clouds with what ever song was the flavor of the week playing in my head phones. The wind would swirl around me and my hair would blow into my face. Blurring my vision which would either be on the gray sky or the gray side walk at my feet.
As much as I had grown to hate the gray over the school year for all it brought was rain. There was the moments that I would feel otherwise. Even now though I stare at the blue sky that lays outside my window I wished that the school year would start and my comforting blanket who return to me.
I would lose my thoughts in it over the troubling nights with who ever it was that I faced. Most of the time it would be the on going battles of the heart in my chest that seemed to call out to everything that moved. A thing that I would curse on those cold walks whether it was the person that I had gotten into with that I was cursing or my heart.
When the mornings weren't a swear fest most of it would be singing. Though I didn't like the idea of being on stage to the people that would be driving by on 122nd looking at me as though I was crazy. I wasn't about to blame them. Everytime I would drive by someone and it looked as thought they were talking to themselves I would think the same thing. Though I wasn't talking more or else.
I'm sure that the evil glares that I would shoot off at the people driving by didn't help either. I'm sure they were thinking I was having my cursing fit that normally only lasted in my mind. Those glares where meant for someone else and wasn't so much for show.
I don't think that I've ever stared into those dark clouded skys that seemed always unchanged though with hopeless eyes. Like now where I stare out and can feel that my eyes have sunk back into my head and I feel as though I could possibly be the walking dead.
I wonder what horror film I had jumped out of.
No... My look was always deep or blank as if searching for the answers of life in the clouds or not looking for an answer at all. Well that is except for the one of escape.
Though the summer blue is nice I seem to find myself home sick for the darkness of my clouds.
The cold fall mornings of my black sweat shirt zipped up half way showing off my tanktop under it and the long scarf wrapped around my neck either dancing in the wind blowing against me or wrapping around my legs as I walked. The normal blue denim jeans and whatever shoes whether it was my converse or my black sneakers. Which ever ones seem to suit me for the day. My hands always shoved in my pockets with my ipod tight in hand and the head phones jammed in my ears. Short red strands of my hair whipping into my eyes as my head either hangs or it tilted towards the sky.
One thing remains the same. My eyes will always feel as though my iris's are swirling as I glaze at the curious world around me that was almot my own person drug. Be it what ever thought was in my mind.
Community Member