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it's my granpa's burial today.
wOah.
waves of emotions came flooding my entirety.
whutta day.

my head horribly aches because of crying for several hours.
i never thought it would hurt like that.
i prepared myself for granpa's departure.
we all did.

his death was somehow expected, because of his worsening health condition.
we didn't want him to suffer anymore, so we all think it's what's best for him now.
afterall, he did great on his 77-year stay here with us, and i think he already deserves a break.
he had enough here and had fulfilled his life purpose, and i believe it's now time for him to rest and return to his Creator.

we all expect that.

but why the hurt?
i thought i already had experienced the most painful hurt in the world.
that was during my heartbreak from the one whom i thought loved me.

it was a pain of a love lost, a pain of a childish desire for true love.

but i was wrong.
losing my granpa was 10 times painful than that.
a thousand folds painful than what seemed to be the worse ache to me.

it was way too different.
much more terrible than the last one.
it felt like i'm filled with immense grief and sorrow, having it's way up to my brim.

it hurts to see my granma grieve like that.
it's my first time to see her like that.
and it hurt.
seeing my uncle too adds up to the pang.

damn.

i didn't control myself at the burial.
all of us didn't.

but well.
that's life.
we all have to be strong for each other,
to accept that everything has an end.

buhbye, lo.
we'll miss you.