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I....just cannot seem to get a break....first surgery and then the idiotic love wars that have been plauging me since forever and a day ago and now....gods, i have screwed my life up...it's all i'm really good at...screwing people up and ruining their lives....and all i ever wanted was to live happily and peaceably...but...we cannot always get whatever we want...

some people were under the impression i was some sort of prince-charming...now i can prove i'm not....

There was a girl...the only girl i ever got involved with in real life, other then men during my time growing up, yes i have had sex, no i am not a hound though her brother thinks i'm garbage...you see.....she visited me a few moths ago and...it was such a short visit and, we hadn't seen eachother in so long....one blasted thing led to another and, well...i found out, last night in fact, that she was...is...pregnant...and...she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that she's mine...she's due in four months and last night over a stupid computer was the first time i ever heard about it...her brother pete got on and told me how much he wanted me dead...we're best friends, he and i...or...we used to be...leslie, the girl i spoke of, isn't a bad person but soon after telling me about it--about the preganancy--she said she would have an abortion and there'd be snowing in hell before she decided to keep it...but, i blew up and told her, begged her not to do it and...i dunno what's goind on...

a girl..she would be a girl....les told me that just to get under my skin...and it worked...and i'm so confused as to why and how and why does all this stu keep hapening???

i need help. mental help. I'll be going to liverpool in two days if she doesn't get her brother to murder me...he's crazy enough to really do it...