Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Well... this thought has boiled around in my brain for a while. See, I think people find me just a little imposing. Or they feel that I could suddenly snap and kill them all if I were to be pushed just a tad too far. I suppose a big, muscular asian with a naturally grim/blank expression would give that impression. It's pretty neat, if you ask me ~ people generally don't give me much crap about anything and treat me with some semblance of respect.

Actually, while it is true that I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, I think it is unlikely that I would snap over something small. I generally have a fairly calm temperament, if not cheerful and I generally have a fairly decent sense of humor (despite how my writing portrays me). I do snap, though. I don't do if often but it can be a little scary. I don't think that I would kill anyone, though. I have a loud and obnoxious conscience and it bugs me over even small misdeeds. I hate to think what it'd do over something like murder.

I guess it kind of amuses me that people think of me like that. I don't mind it ~ I actually kind of like it in a way (sense of dark power). Anyways, I was born with this expression ~ like some people are born with big, goofy endearing grins. I got the threatening asian look. Which suites me fine. People who get to know me past the appearance know I'm not terribly dangerous and they usually acquire the ability to read emotions through the generally slightly blank/grim expression.

Two notable examples of people's fear of my supposed hidden psychotic nature:

1) We were making salsa in Spanish class and peeps were looking for knives to chop veggies with. My group had their backs to me and were looking. I opened a drawer and found a knife so I said "I found a knife" (in my deepish monotone voice) so they all turned around and saw me holding the knife and watching them. All of them looked at me in horror and squealed (or the male equivalent of squealing (all were male)) "OH MY GOD _____ (insert name" It was great.

2) It was the last bit of PE (free time) and this dude was bouncing a ball in between the rungs of the ladders. He looked so proud of himself when he reached the end (high schoolers are like that) anyway, he was like "I made it to the end!" and I said "Awesome" quietly (he thought I said something else) so he came over and was like "What'd you say?" and I said "Awesome" and he said "Oh, I thought you said something else... I was gonna be like..." and he pretended to throw the ball at my face. So I looked back at him ~ no expression or anything. And he got this nervous sort of grin (like guys do when they feel threatened by a girl) and he he was like "I was just joking around... just kidding" and he sort of twitched toward the wall next to me like he was scared I was going to rip out his nuts or something.

A notable example of peeps getting past my grim asian-ness.

Whenever I used to ride the bus home all the other high schoolers would sort of avoid looking at me or sitting by me. They just left me alone (which was fine by me).... so, I had a summer job with one of them and we made friends (of a sort).... ever since then when I ride the bus I get mushed into conversation weather I like it or not and they sit by me without fear *twitch twitch*. My scary image has been flattened into the ground and stomped upon.

Japanese for the day

Wa
is/am/are

Suki
to like