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I know in my last journal I talked about how I can't deal with this pain anymore. I feel like I'm stuck. And I want nothing more than to leave this place.............
The only thing in the whole world that I want is to be alone with Atem.
For some reason, this doesn't seem to be happening. It is not Atem's fault so I can not blame him. It is my own. I can't leave where I am. I just want to move somewhere, where me and Atem will be alone.
I know this sounds dumb, but it is what I want and I don't want to deny my own feelings.
I dream all day and night of us having our own place. I can see it clearly in my head. Why can't I just live there? Maybe if I am no longer here than I can live there. Maybe in heaven there is a place for us to be alone. My heart aches every moment, and my soul cries for this to become a reality. I don't want to take this path, but this seems to be my only option. I wish there was another way..............
This will be my forever, this will be my end..........Finally, I will be alone with Atem........