Taking It All In
All along there was something holding me back from coming to you. I didn't know what to do at that time, so I simply ignored it. But now, I know that was the wrong thing to do. I wasn't sorry at first when I saw you cry and not turn to me, but I regret that. Maybe I was jealous that I saw you crawl into another guy's hand. any guy's hand. I kept thinking to myself that I wanted to be the only one that kept your precious smile, and at that time I was being selfish and childish, but it was the truth. But even when I did try to hide away your smile to myself, it kept on glistening its way out. Before I knew it, I inaugurated that this was the solution all along.
All along there was something holding me back from coming to you. I didn't know what to do at that time, so I simply ignored it. But now, I know that was the wrong thing to do. I wasn't sorry at first when I saw you cry and not turn to me, but I regret that. Maybe I was jealous that I saw you crawl into another guy's hand. any guy's hand. I kept thinking to myself that I wanted to be the only one that kept your precious smile, and at that time I was being selfish and childish, but it was the truth. But even when I did try to hide away your smile to myself, it kept on glistening its way out. Before I knew it, I inaugurated that this was the solution all along.
"Every night I spend my eye looking at the stars you remind me of"M
Y
H
E
A
R
T
Y
H
E
A
R
T
"If I smile at a strange whose unhappy, I can turn their whole day around"
"I say that I'll take my chances when I really mean that it's all a lie to protect you"E
Q
U
A
L
S
Y
O
U
Q
U
A
L
S
Y
O
U
"Please don't show me the tears that you shed, or that will make me feel guilt inside"
My name is Kyoni Haruma. Though I prefer to be cal Kyoni-chan! I never thought that I could change someone so easily. I've made mistakes in life that I haven't fixed yet, and I caused this huge problem. I never meant to hurt anyone personally, but I did it anyways without any regrets. So stupid huh? Although I can't forget the days I spent with you, and the days that I fought with you. That was mostly like everyday, huh? Even though I try to smile and show you that I'm okay, for some reason, you know me more than I know myself. What's up with that? Don't run, walk, or hide away from me okay? Cause I've been waiting to tell you that I....
It's finally the weekend! The first week of school! Done and over with! I, Hiro, and so relieved that it is. Though we have so much homework over the weekend. All I need right now is to chill and calm down. Even though it has only been a week, there were so much things that happened. First, was the huge fight over me, Nakami, and Kyoni-chan. It was weird, but we got through it all. Not only the fight happened, but at the same time, everyone in the group, except onee-chan found out that Kyouri likes Kyoni-chan. Don't get me wrong, its not like this is Kyouri's first love or anything, he had dated a while back. Not more than Tsubashi, but he has dated. There was this one girl that he could never forget. She was almost in the same situation as Kyoni right now, but more death dealing. That girl must be the most idiotic girl that all of us has seen, but it figures that she was just trying to run away. Not from herself or anything like that, but she was actually a criminal in love. Funny huh? She was too off guard and the police caught her trying to kill Kyouri! We were all in shock too, so don't worry. She said, "If I'm going to waste my life, then you get to lose yours..." when she was about to kill him. Lucky that the police came before she got to him. But the weird thing is that, Kyouri had the same exact feelings for her, so he visits her once ever 3 months. He acts like we don't know, but we actually do. He can't let go of her, because that was probably the first time a girl came after him. We think its weird, but he calls it love. Get it?
Tsubashi puts his arm around me and asks me again, for the 100th time of the week, "Are you really sure that you're not going to come with us to the goukon? Dude! What are you going to do over the weekend? Hang out with me and some nice girls!" I didn't want to want to go period. I had better stuff to do like doing my homework or whatever, and maybe get some little cash cause apparently, I might not get enough money for the school, and I did want to get myself some new stuff. I joked with him some, "Really! I might be the only smart one that doesn't want to go on a goukon with you! Ha!" I laughed and played with him. This is was just like the old days, or maybe the beginning of the school! He grabbed hold of my neck and gave me a nuggy; his doesn't hurt that much like Kyouri's! Dude, the guy has some arm muscle other than this old fellow here!. I tried to escape my way out, pushing him away and tickling him. That was Tsubashi's weakness. And it worked! He pushed be to Atsu, who is always quiet and being in the back. It's true that he hangs out with us a lot, but he is so quiet that sometimes I don't know if he's there or not. "Ah! Sorry man! Dude, what are you doing over the weekend. Come with me to the arcade, and we can hang out without your brother. Whatchu say?" I insisted putting my arm around him for my apology. Atsu glanced at me with his pretty eyes, and his baby face. At that time, I would have thought that he wasn't related to ugly Tsubashi. Nah! But this guy gives be the creeps! He does that to me all the time, and I'm still not used to all of it! He doesn't really look like a twin compared to Tsuba, but he did have a baby face. I remember onee-chan pinching his cheek cause he looked so much like a baby in middle school. As I flinched away by the look he gave me, Atsu smirked. "I still love it when I do that to you!" he states. We walk together now, getting hellos and byes from the classmates, that we barely knew. Kyouri stayed after for basketball practice, which he usually does. The guys good at it too! That's how tall he gets probably. I sorta feel awkward being the only one that's not part of the twin thing.
As we walk out of the school, we all heard girls scream and shout from the window. Both me and Atsu laugh while Tsubashi makes a fool of himself, waving bye to his fans, as if he's famous. Which we are in the school, other than the upperclassmen. Finally we made it out the gate waiting for their bus, but I was going to walk. My house isn't that far from the school. "So, you sure that you don't have anything to do over the weekend. Come and chill with me instead of going with your bro. You must be tired hanging out with him all the time, huh?" I insisted. I really didn't feel like going to a goukon with Tsuba, but it's not like I didn't want to hang with him. I'm not interested with any of the girls, except for that special person. "Nah, I'm cool. I have a date with someone." Atsu explained. I was surprised! A date! I want to know our lucky winner! I played with him more. "A date? Oh. My. God. I'm not in that stage yet! Calm down some man. Don't you think that you're going a little too fast!" Tsubashi smacked me in the back of my head."That guy would never reach that stage before me! Get it!" He added. We joked around while everyone around us paid close attention just for gossip. Atsu glanced at the blus sky. It was a nice day to end the week. "For your information, I'm going with Kyoni-chan. She's coming with me for tea and stuff." He explained. I paused. I literally paused! It felt like I could breathe anymore. W-with Kyoni-chan? Why was everyone get involved with her except for me. What did she do to me that made her so attractive. I was... jealous. Let alone, Kyouri already confessed that he liked her. Why would Atsu make a move like that? Don't tell me that he also likes her? Is that girl contagious or something, because everyone seems to be getting it. Though Atsu is unfair. I feel sorry for Kyouri who confessed, and Atsu's going on a date with her. Was it him who asked her out that time when he smiled in homeroom? Did Atsu beat Kyouri to go on a date with Kyoni-chan? Atsu didn't seem like he had that baby face anymore."With K-Kyoni-chan? But -!" I exclaimed. Tsubashi held me back, the bus was around the corner and it I assumed that Atsu didn't hear a single word, because he kept looked at the sky. What was wrong with Tsubashi! He wouldn't let me go. "Give him this chance Hiro! This is the first time that Atsu agreed to go on a date with a girl, let alone any other girl. Don't tell Kyouri, he might misunderstand, please?" Tsubashi whispered in my ear. The bus arrived and I acted normal, waving them goodbye and walking away.
My head was feeling dizzy. My body felt hot, also. I never noticed that it was hot during September. I tried to walk slowly, but I couldn't take another step. I started to think why I was feeling so awful. What did I just learn right now? Why am I all like this. My eyesight didn't seem clear. It was so blurry that I couldn't really see anything but the blue sky. Was it blue? There was a small bench I assumed. I need to lie down right now or I'll collapse. And so I did, even though my legs made me trip on the way. I was feeling so wheezy. But later, I heard some voices. Hey! Are you alright?! Hiro-san!" My name was being called. That means that it was someone I knew. It sounded like a girls name though? Was it onee-chan? But she would never call me 'Hiro-san' just 'Hiro'. Who was it? Before I knew it, I was in a comfortable place. My eyes soon recovered and I could see clearly. I tried to sit up, but my stomach was getting to me. "Ah!" I screamed. I clenched to my torso, it hurt really badly. "Are you okay?" a voice came. It sounded like a girl and a guy. I glanced who was next to me, and it was Kyouri... and Kyoni-chan! Why were they next to me! Where was I?! What happened to me? "W-w-why are you guys here?!" I inquired! Kyouri got up and made me lie back down. "Calm down Hiro. We're at your house. Sorry to barge in your room like this," he exclaimed. "But that doesn't explain why you guys are here?" I yelled, wanting my question answered. "Hiro-san, please stay calm. I found you on the bench lying like you were dead, so I called for help. Luckily I found Kyouri-san coming out of the gate and got him to help me. I couldn't possible carry you, so I was glad that he was your friend and he knew where you lived. I'm sorry to barge in here, too, but I was worried that your face was pale, so I wanted to take care of you, both me and Kyouri-san." Kyoni admitted. I felt so special that I was being cared for by Kyoni. I blushed and they misunderstood it for something else. Kyoni stood up to grab the wet towel to wipe my forehead. I closed my eyes. She was so close to me and I'm over heating. I needed to calm myself down and get a hold of myself. I peeked up and saw that her chest was right under my eyes. I immediately closed my eyes! I began to over heat and over heat more and more. "Ma'am! Somethings wrong with him!" Kyouri hollered downstairs. My mother came all the way up here and it ruined everything. "I'm sorry to have troubled you! You may leave now, I think that he needs more rest. Kyouri-kun, would you be kind to drop of this young lady?" my mom insisted. I wanted to say something really badly! But I couldn't cause they would have ignored me anyways. Right before my eyes, they left. It was dark outside, and I already knew that Kyouri likes Kyoni! What if he confessed to her?! What if something bad happened and they got to the situation that they...? OH. MY. WORD!!! I had to calm myself down. I tried to think of sweet dream. Not a perverted dream, just something to get my mind off of what would happen if two high school students went out to...
The next morning, I was feeling so much better than last night. My head did not want to be reminded by what happened last night. As I carefully sat up, my eyes gazed at through the window, watching the sun shine on me. There was a feeling that I knew today was either going to be good for me or good for someone else, which will be bad for me if its not good on me. But both my stomach and my head felt good today. So if I was I was fine now, then I might have a chance to go out and chill for a while. And sneak around to stalk Atsu, which was weird, cause I had never done that in my life. Especially when its Atsu. I mean, I'm not trying to be judgmental or anything, but there isn't much that goes on in Atsu life other than what his friends do or maybe right now. Because my man has a date with my future girlfriend. And I can't help but to know what will they do. Thinking about these sort of things didn't help me calm myself. "Ugh!!!" I whined as I quickly got out of bed. My feet dragged on to the kitchen, smelling the cooking of my mother's fried eggs, some omelet, and bacon. I took a long sniff and sat down at my regular spot on the table. My mother gave my plate as soon as she noticed I had sat down, and added, "Are you feeling alright? Do you want to take medicine after your breakfast?" My ears didn't seem to hear a word she said because my mouth was chomping on the food she gave me. I could hardly get the food to swallow down my throat that my mom gave me a glass before I choked in front of her! "Hey, I'm feeling better today. Can I hang out with Tsubahsi?" I asked as I felt stuffed after eating my breakfast. Mother grabbed my plate and gave me my medicine at the same time. She sighed, not sure to believe me or not. "I don't know, your fever was very high last night, and you were mumbling to yourself. If your temperature is low today then I might just let you go and hang out with your friends." she replied, washing the plates. My younger sister, Riya came downstairs into the kitchen looking like a hot mess. As she did, I laughed myself off! I felt a strong glare coming from her. 'I wouldn't want to be talking onii-chan. I'm not the one with drool stains on my shirt and on my cheek..." she back-fired, sitting down on her regular seat. I pretend to laugh and walked out of the room with the look of "I-can't-believe-that-my-younger-sister-just-made-a-point-about-my-face". I had to make a baby face. Did she just play me? Quickly, I ran to the bathroom and got ready. Once I got done, Riya was waiting for me outside. "You take long in the shower? What do you do there? Admire your not abs?' she insulted. I shoved her out the way, turned only my head at her, and said, "Why would you want to know?' then walked away.
The breeze brushed through my hair, and it felt good. It was so much better outside then it was inside. I couldn't stand the smell of the inside. But I missed the fragrance of the flowers and the trees. It had better air where I was now, and not stuffed inside. I took my phone out and checked the time. "2:30" it read. I still had time, so I passed through a convenient store that was near where I was going. I needed to get out of town some, so there was this place where the people knew me. I sometimes get stuff for free there, so that was luck! I walked in and went to the beverages isle. I would always get some soft drink or tea here when I was feeling sick or when I was young. Didn't matter, this place had the best Green tea in the whole area! I opened the fridge and someone familiar on the other side opened that side of the fridge. I noticed it was Kyouri. He did live around in the area here, that I forgot to recall. "Oh! Hey!" Kyouri noted. He grabbed his drink and I grabbed mine, then chilled near the window. We sat there for a while, not knowing what to say or what to talk about. I was certainly afraid to ask about Kyoni and what happened last night. But I wanted to know, I needed to know so badly right now, so I asked nervously, "Did you drop off Kyoni to her house?" Kyouri took a sip of his beverage and so did I, not trying to make it sound desperate. He swallowed and mine didn't really go down, but I had no mind in making a scene. So I coughed lightly, but he noticed. "Hey! Are you sure you're alright? Why are you outside anyways? Aren't you still sick?" he complained. I shrugged, not caring, but I did reply, making sure that he didn't have to worry. "All I needed was some air. It felt so stuffed inside and maybe that's why I didn't feel as good as I am now. So don't worry," I assured to him. Kyouri just nodded, so he must have believed me. I repeated my question, and he still didn't anwser right away. Was I being desperate to find out? We both took another sipof our drinks, then he finally said, "She only let me walk her out through half way, cause I told her my way was the opposite direction."
Did I feel any better? I didn't feel any relief, though I did feel kind of guilty. I feel bad that the girl Kyouri likes didn't really let him walk her home. I don't know anymore.I don't want to break the friendship to end like this for a stupid girl. My mind wanted to let him know, and so did my heart. I couldn't hide these feelings anymore, even if they were only for a short while. I took another sip. Would Atsu also be involve in this kind of thing? Should I tell Kyouri that they are going on a date today? Though, I would just snitch on Atsu, but I don't want Kyouri to fight him. And I already Tsubashi that I wouldn't tell... Even though I want to so bad right now. But aren't I just being too selfish of myself. What is this? Its my problem and I'm not going to involve anyone, but me. That sounds like a really bad idea, but I'm brave like that. My eyes gazed over Kyouri, and I explained carefully with my words, "What will happen if I also said that I like Kyoni?" Kyouri stared at me for the longest time ever since we met. His eyes started to get colder and colder, and it almost lost its color. Finally, he replied with the worst tone I've heard him say to me, "W-what's that suppose to mean?" Was there an answer to that? Could I have said it somewhat differently? What will happen next...? Between Atsu, Kyouri, and me?
