Well, I just finished my D&D game. My lesbian cleric nearly drown. And our orc fighter-guy died. We had a ceremony and everything, since the party was really attached to him. Now I'm feeling paranoid because I'd forgotten how easy it is to die in the game we're playing. Last I played this game, I had about 6 different backups ready for every scenario. This time I don't have any. I barely missed dying about 3 times tonight. It's a little spooky. I actually got choked up when the orc died. It was sad. My cleric uses a ball of bells (5 in all) as a focus for casting her spells, so she put a bell on his body. Like the Roman tradition of paying for the ferryman, but my character doesn't believe in deities.
Other than that, I feel terrible. I'm tired. I feel like slamming my face into the monitor. I'm so frustrated with myself right now. In Psych today we had to right down what we were most afraid of. And I wrote that I was most frightened of forgetting about you, Zoe... It'd rip me apart if I lost all the moments we'd shared together.. Now I'm rambling. And my eyes are blurry... Why, I wonder?
Oh god, I miss you so much...
~Are-kun
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Softly, now..
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