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I don't really know what I'm going to wright in this...
"Then why are you writing?"
Because I don't have anything else to do at the moment, I'm feeling particularly alone and writing helps clear my head sometimes. That's why."
"So, what've you been doing lately?"
Good question. I spent the first two thirds of my break sitting around at my father's house... it nearly drove me insane. A couple days ago we flew down to Oakland and picked up my Cousin's car ~ which is now mine.
"Why does your head need clearing?"
Just because.... there's been a lot of the dreaded "teen angst" lately. Honestly, looking at it objectively, I know that these things are trivial ~ even just in my lifetime these things are probably going to be some of the most meaningless. It's just hard to remember it as I live out my daily existence.
Also, it seems that if I have nothing to "fight", to struggle against, then doubts and negative thoughts just seem to build up. Which is kind of not a good thing.
Another thing is that I'm a bit worried... but that's nothing new.
... and, alright, yes... I'm lonely. So there.
"Anything interesting planned as of late?"
Well... yes as a matter of fact. After I got back from California my boyfriend and I were going to meet up on Skype and talk voice to voice, hopefully successfully. But, you see, he hasn't shown up at all ~ which is why I'm worried. And lonely.
My birthday is coming up too. So, I've got swell plans for that. Which makes me happy. I have to go to school on that day, though ~ which makes me kind of mad.
"Are you content with your life?"
Now that's a random question.
Objectively, I suppose I am. I'm not wanting for anything materially, I have good friends, good parents, good grades and a good mind. I'm not bullied or anything and my ego doesn't hang on the opinions of others. Life is good.
Subjectively, however, I'm not completely content. Most people aren't, when given time to think. I don't know.... it's not that many things and they aren't that big, really. But humans have an annoying habit of focusing on the negative. And I'm only human.
"So what do you think of human nature?"
I don't really know. I always have a split perception on things. Part of me thinks that humans are amazing and wonderful things. The other part thinks humans are stupid, ugly and twisted. And another part still doesn't care at all.
It's like with women ~ why does she stay with a guy when he abuses her over and over? It doesn't make sense, and yet it happens. And no, I'm not abused. But at the same time it does make sense. Matters of the heart are complicated, you see. Nothing is ever as simple as it appears at first glance or touch.


Japanese for the Day:

Sabashii
lonely

Kanashii
sad