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Life experiences
It's amazing how much things change...this trip has taught me so much, but has made me realize so much more. I don't think you really learn about yourself rather than realize. You know, but it's whether or not you're aware of it. This trip has taught me so many life skills, and important things I need for the future...but mainly it's shown me just how close that future is...I'm 15 right now, turning 16 in a month...just 2 more years until I'm on my own, and I've already learned just how short 8 months is. It won't be long until I don't have my parents to run to and hide behind, until I'm without my brother, until I'm forced to get a job and support my education. Being forced to grow up in just 5 years is hard. And I thought it was gonna be fun and cool. Those 12-year-old fantasies get thrown away fast. I almost don't want to grow up, but I have no other choice. Soon I'll have kids, be married, be a wife and mother, and most likely try to make ends meet. I want to get there, but I'm not sure what IS there. That's what my ultimate goal is, is to live a righteous life as a wife, mother and a child of God. Am I ready to become a leader of my own family's legacy? With each kid, there'll be more, and so much more until it's hard to keep up with. And they'll all come from what I've done and the relationships I'll have. That puts their outcome in my hands. If I raise my kids right, then my grandchildren and my great grandchildren shouldn't be too corrupted in this world. I'm already becoming someone that little ones look up to, soon I'll become someone that everyone will look up to. I'll be the elder of the family, someone that has the most wisdom and will be always right in everyone else's lives. And someday everyone will be that way. Will anyone every be ready? No one's every ready to grow up, be become a parent, to become a grandparent, or to even leave this world...but it's gotta happen someday. I know where I'm headed, and I'm perpared to go, but I don't want to grow up....I don't want this to happen now...but you learn to cherish things, because it'll only happen once.
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