My Senior Year is...
Lame. Horrible. Definitely not "all that." Boring. The exact opposite of "spectacular." Yeah that about sums it up...
Most people think that their last year of high school is supposed to be this magical and oh so wonderful experience when in fact it never really is. At least in my case it isn't :/ Your last year of high school is only the greatest year of your schooling because by that time in your life you should have acquired amazing friends. Not the kinds of lame-o friends that create problems and are just pains in the a**. I'm talking about the kinds of friends that make you laugh, and accept you for who you are. They love every single one of your imperfections and all of your weird quirks. They are the people that you can have a good time despite what you're doing. It could be the 15 minutes before school actually starts and you're all just talking about random stuff and having a good time. It's the stuff like that that's suppose to make your last year of school amazing.
Personally, I feel like I've been stripped of that right -_________- I found those amazing friends that fit the qualifications above to a tee. But guess what? I'm not in school with them. How am I suppose to experience "the most awesomest year of school" without the most awesomest friends I've ever had in my entire life? I'll tell you how. I'm not suppose to experience it. My first two years of high school were awesome. Mainly for the fact that I had such an amazing group of people around me to share it with. My third year of high school was only made awesome by the fact that I stumbled upon a love life, and also that I managed to make a handful of senior friends. They made things easier for me. They all made me laugh, they all accepted me for me, and they made me feel like I was the coolest thing in the world. A feeling I rarely experience.
But they were all seniors. And like all good seniors they all graduated that summer when school ended. My boyfriend is now in Louisiana with his dad getting stuff together to start college down there. I'm super happy for him but I do miss him. A lot. My senior friends all scattered and went to college or join the military in one way or another. Which leaves me alone. I walk through the hallways at school alone, making a beeline to my next class. The kids in my class are not idiots so at times they do actually uphold intelligent conversations with me. But it never goes farther than a conversation. And honestly I don't think I'd want it to go further. All of the kids in my classes have been friends from like middle school and through high school. Some of them have been friends since elementary school through middle and high school. I'd rather not intrude on that. Plus they are all very different from me. They aren't like my old friends at all. They are part of the "upper crust" of high school. I was never part of the high school pie and I don't ever want to be.
I just drift from class to class by myself. There are a few kids who were in some of my classes last year that I would say hi to in the hallways and stuff, but it's far from the same as my old friends. It's sad to see everyone else living up the true high school experience with their friends. Everyone hanging out with their friends and doing fun stuff. While I'm stuck here...I look at all of the pictures my friends put up on Facebook and stuff, and I can see how much fun they have together. I miss doing stuff like that with them :/ Now that we're all older and everyonecould drive, it means that our adventures would taken us farther away from Florence. We wouldn't have been limited to the Books A Million in the Florence Mall, or the crappish selection of stores in the Magnolia Mall. We could have gone anywhere. All of us. And something tells me that it would've been amazing.
But here I am. Standing alone. I had a buddy with me a while ago, but like I said before, he's in Louisiana having an awesome time as he gets his future life together. That also scares the crap out of me. I can't help but wonder if he'll really want to come back after he finishes college. I mean it's not like he'll HAVE to. He could stay there if he really wanted to. :/ Not the best thought for me...I've been told countless time that long distance relationships don't work out. Well I'm wishing that we will be able to prove all of them wrong.
-Sigh- High school is meant for people with friends, or people with a significant other, or the lucky sons of bitches who have friends and a significant other to spend it with. But when you're alone, for whatever reason, it sucks. It really does...take my word for it. It's no walk in the park. In fact it's more like the feeling you get when it's raining and you have to walk somewhere but you didn't bring an umbrella, but the only reason you didn't bring an umbrella is because it wasn't raining when you started walking, and then as you're walking a car drives by and splashes all this groddy water from a puddle onto you. Then right as that happens two things automatically come to your mind. 1: Why me, and 2: I hate my life.
Yeah. It feels exactly like that. Exactly. Anyway, I'm done complaining, venting, rambling, whatever you wanna call it. I don't feel any better...
Pri
Most people think that their last year of high school is supposed to be this magical and oh so wonderful experience when in fact it never really is. At least in my case it isn't :/ Your last year of high school is only the greatest year of your schooling because by that time in your life you should have acquired amazing friends. Not the kinds of lame-o friends that create problems and are just pains in the a**. I'm talking about the kinds of friends that make you laugh, and accept you for who you are. They love every single one of your imperfections and all of your weird quirks. They are the people that you can have a good time despite what you're doing. It could be the 15 minutes before school actually starts and you're all just talking about random stuff and having a good time. It's the stuff like that that's suppose to make your last year of school amazing.
Personally, I feel like I've been stripped of that right -_________- I found those amazing friends that fit the qualifications above to a tee. But guess what? I'm not in school with them. How am I suppose to experience "the most awesomest year of school" without the most awesomest friends I've ever had in my entire life? I'll tell you how. I'm not suppose to experience it. My first two years of high school were awesome. Mainly for the fact that I had such an amazing group of people around me to share it with. My third year of high school was only made awesome by the fact that I stumbled upon a love life, and also that I managed to make a handful of senior friends. They made things easier for me. They all made me laugh, they all accepted me for me, and they made me feel like I was the coolest thing in the world. A feeling I rarely experience.
But they were all seniors. And like all good seniors they all graduated that summer when school ended. My boyfriend is now in Louisiana with his dad getting stuff together to start college down there. I'm super happy for him but I do miss him. A lot. My senior friends all scattered and went to college or join the military in one way or another. Which leaves me alone. I walk through the hallways at school alone, making a beeline to my next class. The kids in my class are not idiots so at times they do actually uphold intelligent conversations with me. But it never goes farther than a conversation. And honestly I don't think I'd want it to go further. All of the kids in my classes have been friends from like middle school and through high school. Some of them have been friends since elementary school through middle and high school. I'd rather not intrude on that. Plus they are all very different from me. They aren't like my old friends at all. They are part of the "upper crust" of high school. I was never part of the high school pie and I don't ever want to be.
I just drift from class to class by myself. There are a few kids who were in some of my classes last year that I would say hi to in the hallways and stuff, but it's far from the same as my old friends. It's sad to see everyone else living up the true high school experience with their friends. Everyone hanging out with their friends and doing fun stuff. While I'm stuck here...I look at all of the pictures my friends put up on Facebook and stuff, and I can see how much fun they have together. I miss doing stuff like that with them :/ Now that we're all older and everyonecould drive, it means that our adventures would taken us farther away from Florence. We wouldn't have been limited to the Books A Million in the Florence Mall, or the crappish selection of stores in the Magnolia Mall. We could have gone anywhere. All of us. And something tells me that it would've been amazing.
But here I am. Standing alone. I had a buddy with me a while ago, but like I said before, he's in Louisiana having an awesome time as he gets his future life together. That also scares the crap out of me. I can't help but wonder if he'll really want to come back after he finishes college. I mean it's not like he'll HAVE to. He could stay there if he really wanted to. :/ Not the best thought for me...I've been told countless time that long distance relationships don't work out. Well I'm wishing that we will be able to prove all of them wrong.
-Sigh- High school is meant for people with friends, or people with a significant other, or the lucky sons of bitches who have friends and a significant other to spend it with. But when you're alone, for whatever reason, it sucks. It really does...take my word for it. It's no walk in the park. In fact it's more like the feeling you get when it's raining and you have to walk somewhere but you didn't bring an umbrella, but the only reason you didn't bring an umbrella is because it wasn't raining when you started walking, and then as you're walking a car drives by and splashes all this groddy water from a puddle onto you. Then right as that happens two things automatically come to your mind. 1: Why me, and 2: I hate my life.
Yeah. It feels exactly like that. Exactly. Anyway, I'm done complaining, venting, rambling, whatever you wanna call it. I don't feel any better...
Pri
