Optional Jesus is hopelame.
Hopelame: a combination of hopeless and lame
example: Pssh that girl is so hopelame.
Yes. I am hopelame. I am going to college to pursue a career in something that I'm not passionate in. I am insecure about my relationship. I am tired of having my annoyance tolerance tested everyday. I am dragging myself out of bed every morning with the thought "Just remember. Why kill yourself when you can kill your classmates?" I am feeling unaccomplished everyday that I come back from school without having learned a single new thing. I am sick of life. I am sick of this state. I am sick of my school. And last but not least I am sick of myself.
The whole college thing shouldn't really be a big deal. Because in retrospect I am pursuing a form of higher education that will give me a very successful job later on in life. What's so bad about that right? Well maybe the fact that I'm about to pursue a career in SOMETHING I DON'T LOVE. I don't love Physical Therapy. I didn't even really know what Physical Therapy was until this year when Mr. Hoxley made us write that 10% Summary on an article about physical therapists. Those of you that know me well, know exactly what kind of career would make me happy. I would love to be an adult and have people go "Oh hey you look like a well-rounded individual, what do you do for a living?" Just so that I could respond "Who me? Why, I'm an artist!" Do you know how incredibly kick a** that would be? I'll tell you:
It would be incredibly kick a**.
Now for the next topic of my vent we have my relationship. Note how it started off very strong but hit a few devastating rough patches along the way. Also note that the length of this relationship is now pushing a year and two months. So what's the problem? Could it be that the apple of my eye has left the state in order to ensure a college education for himself as well as to build up a healthy relationship with the other side of his family? Yeah, that could be the case at hand. I'm happy for him I really am. I'm glad that he got accepted to college down there and I'm glad that he's with his dad and that they're getting along. I'm glad that he gets to meets an array of aunts, uncles, and cousins for the first time ever, and I'm super glad that they all like him as much as he likes them. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him :/ That doesn't mean that I still don't wish that he were still here. Is that selfish? Hell yeah it is. But hey in my defense I'm only human.
And you can bet your a** that I will cling and fight for the one thing that actually makes me happy...
Next topic: My annoyance tolerance level. It is pushed to it's breaking point pretty much everyday. Why? Because people do not know how to shut the hell up! OH MY GOD. No one gives a damn about your weekend with your friends, or about the HILARIOUS time you had at the mall, or how you and your boyfriend had sex for the first time and you might be pregnant with his child. NO ONE CARES. No one except you, and maybe all of your friends who were more then likely there with you during your little adventures and already know all about it. And if that is the case then why the hell are you all still talking to each other about it?! If you were all there at the same shindig, why do you need to verbally recap the events that took place? I'll tell you why. You're all conceited that's why.
Conceited little a-holes who love being the center of attention and pissing me off.
Seriously all of the little chitter chatter that takes place during the school day makes me want to send a bullet through my skull. I'm tired of hearing all of that crap. But why would I kill myself when I could just eliminate the source of my discomfort and kill everyone else?
Seems much more practical in my opinion...
I go to school to learn. That's what school is for. To inform the masses about new things that will help them out later on in life. But how am I supposed to do that when all the kids in my classes don't shut the hell up!? Teachers won't talk over them. Teachers won't waste their time trying to teach when 97% of the class doesn't give a s**t about what they were going to teach. So who suffers? The little 3% of students that's who. That 3% includes me. I go to school to learn and retain as much information as possible. I go to school because I have to. I go to school to end up going to college. When I do not learn, I feel unaccomplished. It's my job to be a good student and to learn. If I don't learn, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
My, oh my, how society has brain-washed its youth...
All of these things combined bring me to the final few statements. These things all make up a huge part of my life, if not all of it. That being said I will reiterate, I am sick of my life. If I wasn't in this state I probably wouldn't be faced with this much crap. Hence the I am sick of this state. Being in this state puts me in my current high schools with the a-holes that can't shut up. So I hate my school.
But how does this bring about the final statement?
The final statement is only there because I am sitting here pouring my heart and guts out to an online journal. I am complaining about how much everything sucks instead of doing anything about it. I am bitching about anything and everything even though there are several aspects of my life that I totally love and wouldn't change for anything. Because I am such a whiner and I love to complain and act like such a pansy
I am sick of myself.
Hopelame: a combination of hopeless and lame
example: Pssh that girl is so hopelame.
Yes. I am hopelame. I am going to college to pursue a career in something that I'm not passionate in. I am insecure about my relationship. I am tired of having my annoyance tolerance tested everyday. I am dragging myself out of bed every morning with the thought "Just remember. Why kill yourself when you can kill your classmates?" I am feeling unaccomplished everyday that I come back from school without having learned a single new thing. I am sick of life. I am sick of this state. I am sick of my school. And last but not least I am sick of myself.
The whole college thing shouldn't really be a big deal. Because in retrospect I am pursuing a form of higher education that will give me a very successful job later on in life. What's so bad about that right? Well maybe the fact that I'm about to pursue a career in SOMETHING I DON'T LOVE. I don't love Physical Therapy. I didn't even really know what Physical Therapy was until this year when Mr. Hoxley made us write that 10% Summary on an article about physical therapists. Those of you that know me well, know exactly what kind of career would make me happy. I would love to be an adult and have people go "Oh hey you look like a well-rounded individual, what do you do for a living?" Just so that I could respond "Who me? Why, I'm an artist!" Do you know how incredibly kick a** that would be? I'll tell you:
It would be incredibly kick a**.
Now for the next topic of my vent we have my relationship. Note how it started off very strong but hit a few devastating rough patches along the way. Also note that the length of this relationship is now pushing a year and two months. So what's the problem? Could it be that the apple of my eye has left the state in order to ensure a college education for himself as well as to build up a healthy relationship with the other side of his family? Yeah, that could be the case at hand. I'm happy for him I really am. I'm glad that he got accepted to college down there and I'm glad that he's with his dad and that they're getting along. I'm glad that he gets to meets an array of aunts, uncles, and cousins for the first time ever, and I'm super glad that they all like him as much as he likes them. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him :/ That doesn't mean that I still don't wish that he were still here. Is that selfish? Hell yeah it is. But hey in my defense I'm only human.
And you can bet your a** that I will cling and fight for the one thing that actually makes me happy...
Next topic: My annoyance tolerance level. It is pushed to it's breaking point pretty much everyday. Why? Because people do not know how to shut the hell up! OH MY GOD. No one gives a damn about your weekend with your friends, or about the HILARIOUS time you had at the mall, or how you and your boyfriend had sex for the first time and you might be pregnant with his child. NO ONE CARES. No one except you, and maybe all of your friends who were more then likely there with you during your little adventures and already know all about it. And if that is the case then why the hell are you all still talking to each other about it?! If you were all there at the same shindig, why do you need to verbally recap the events that took place? I'll tell you why. You're all conceited that's why.
Conceited little a-holes who love being the center of attention and pissing me off.
Seriously all of the little chitter chatter that takes place during the school day makes me want to send a bullet through my skull. I'm tired of hearing all of that crap. But why would I kill myself when I could just eliminate the source of my discomfort and kill everyone else?
Seems much more practical in my opinion...
I go to school to learn. That's what school is for. To inform the masses about new things that will help them out later on in life. But how am I supposed to do that when all the kids in my classes don't shut the hell up!? Teachers won't talk over them. Teachers won't waste their time trying to teach when 97% of the class doesn't give a s**t about what they were going to teach. So who suffers? The little 3% of students that's who. That 3% includes me. I go to school to learn and retain as much information as possible. I go to school because I have to. I go to school to end up going to college. When I do not learn, I feel unaccomplished. It's my job to be a good student and to learn. If I don't learn, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
My, oh my, how society has brain-washed its youth...
All of these things combined bring me to the final few statements. These things all make up a huge part of my life, if not all of it. That being said I will reiterate, I am sick of my life. If I wasn't in this state I probably wouldn't be faced with this much crap. Hence the I am sick of this state. Being in this state puts me in my current high schools with the a-holes that can't shut up. So I hate my school.
But how does this bring about the final statement?
The final statement is only there because I am sitting here pouring my heart and guts out to an online journal. I am complaining about how much everything sucks instead of doing anything about it. I am bitching about anything and everything even though there are several aspects of my life that I totally love and wouldn't change for anything. Because I am such a whiner and I love to complain and act like such a pansy
I am sick of myself.
