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I'll ask myself again and get the same answer.
"Why am I awake?"
The answer..."I don't know."
Don't get me wrong, I'm exhausted. It was a good day with some of the best people I know. I had sushi, breakfast for dinner, and some good times to recall and probably write about in my REAL journal sometime. But right now, I can't sleep.
I've been up for 2 and a half hours now, and I can't seem to fall asleep. I went to sleep around 11:30 and, I was comfortable. I mean, I was sleeping alright and everything. I didn't have strange dreams or anything. I simply woke up at 1. Bathroom run, you know. It happens. Groggy as hell, I returned to the couch that is my bed and opened my computer. I wanted to clear out a daily thing on a site I play on.
That done, I proceeded to attempt to go back to sleep. Turned off the light, snuggled in under the covers, and hugged Wulf tightly. I was comfy, but I lay there and instantly became restless. Don't ask me why. So I flicked the light back on, determined to wear myself down so I'd sleep. I browsed some webcomics that, of course, hadn't updated. I played a game that is so easy I basically got bored quick.
I was tired again. I tried to sleep again. This time, though, I was aware of feeling horribly unsettled. It wasn't the "I'm uncomfy on the couch" feeling or the "I'm too hot under the blankets but don't want to throw them off" feeling. No...those would be easy to remedy. This...this was something else.
I felt...well, for lack of better words, scared. I couldn't see things, but then again, I'd just turned off the light. However, it felt like my eyes didn't adjust as much as normal. I saw deeper shadows and, to my dismay...huge SHADOWS. Now, that might not mean much to most anyone reading...but if my brother or sisters read this, they will understand that.
I felt like the door was going to be slammed shut any moment and I'd be trapped in the darkness to be harassed by whatever closed the door. I turned the light back on and opened the door a little wider, hoping the feeling was just the trick of my mind where the door looks like it's closing. (Hey, it happens. I'm tired and I hallucinate on occasion.)
Tried going to sleep after that and well, that didn't work...I was still feeling terrified of the light off. I can't sleep well with the light on unless I'm REALLY tired, so this is inconvenient, seeing as how the lamp is RIGHT OVER MY FACE.
I'm sitting here now, typing this out with music on. I'm uncomfortable in here for some reason. I don't know why. It's almost eerily quiet...and I hate it. I hate it when it's like this... But music, in and of itself right now, bothers me. It makes it harder to hear what's going on around me. I feel like something or someone can sneak up on me right now...and that scares me too. That's the ONLY problem with the music though.
I don't know...I don't really have anything to do right now. I want to work on my story, but I fear I'm too unsettled to make...a good addition.
I don't know what's got me scared. I know for sure it wasn't the sushi. I'm not feeling sick at all...
This all started last night (Not Friday night, but the night before, seeing as how I haven't really slept.), I guess. Mitchel was out of the room and I was sitting here on the couch making some sort of something on a site. Replying to someone on DA I think...and I see this spark out of the corner of my eye. A bright flash/shine right about heart level on him where he was sitting, except against the wall and not in the place he was sitting.
And now the shadows...I don't know what's going on right now...but I don't like it. It's very abrupt and unsettling.
Well, there. I feel a little better...a bit anyway. I'm still seeing the shadows, even with the light on...(just in the slightly darker places of the room)
 Tsume Rokaro · Sat Mar 13, 2010 @ 09:48am · 0 Comments |
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