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In this day and age, the collective cost of getting a PhD once all years of college have been completed, all materials purchased, all tests and test preparation courses taken and all admissions officials bribed is astronomical. Its through the roof. Its so much,that it makes Bill Gates look like the guy who came up with The Snuggy. But in the end, what is achieved from several years of your life irretrievably given up to long hours studying and torturous college routines? An awesome job? A ten-digit paycheck (that'll hopefully make up for your gargantuan educational fees)? A cool car and a big house? Yes, it does afford all of that, but it also affords something much more: the Right to say whatever you want and have people believe you. In short, the Right to mess with peoples' minds.

 

Consider this. They say that in one square inch of the average person's brain tissue, the neurons there are conducting more neuro-chemical processes (transmissionstransmissons to and fro and whatnot) at once (about a split-second) than all the electronics in the world do in one day. First of all, who do you think "They" are? It ain't Billy the Bar Bum, that's for sure. It's them fancy folks up at Harvard and Yale, who, might I add, all have PhDs. These professors have made a claim using organisms so small, and numbers so big, that it seems almost impossible to be true. But then again, are you going to argue with them? How would you know that you're right? Even if you did manage the evidence to go toe-to-toe with even one of them, and managed to get them in a position to where it seems like you might be winning, they went to college and got a PhD, you didn't, end of discussion.

That being said, people with PhDs can say all kinds of stuff and we're likely to believe them.

There are more ants in a single ant-mound than there are people on Earth? Plausible.
Blackholes emit such a strong gravitational pull, that even Light is sucked in? I can beleive that.
Every year, about 98% of the atoms in your body are replaced? Sure, why not?
The world is flat and the moon really is mde of cheese. Wait, what?
You couldn't argue with that last one, becasue they have a PhD and you don't, so their word trumps yours automaticly.

 

People with PhDs are so powerful in their authority, that they apparently have the influence nessecary to declassify somthing as a planet. Remember when them Space folkies said that Pluto was no longer a planet? If Billy the Bar Bum said that, or even if some one with a Masters degree in Astronomy said that, no one would beleive them. However, if someone with a PhD in Quantum Physics says it, then its automatically true, by virture of the PhD (and the fact that his degree has "Quantum" in the name). And they're obviously wrong, because Pluto shows all patterns of being a planet and is therefore, by definition, a planet indeed. Although, if you ask me, they made a bit of a slip up with the declassifaction of Pluto. They called it a planetoid. Excuse me? A what? Planetoid? What are those first five letters? Planet? That's what I thought. But hey, what do I know? I don't have a PhD.

 

Lastly, consider that interesting little fact that states that most people will do whatever their doctors tell them to do with little hesitation. If your doctor told you to stand one leg and jump around in a circle while holding one's nose, you'd have to do it, becasue he's a doctor. You don't know if its nessecary or not, but he's the one with the PhD, not you. And let's be honest, how many times have we gone to a doctor and have been asked to do somthing that you seriosusly (or even slightly) doubt is part of the medical procedure? Like the cerimonious Dropping Of The Pants (a little psychological leverage for him), in case the big shiny PhD on the wall wasn't enough, now he'll win in case of any difference in opinion because who's going to listen to you when you aren't wearing pants?

 

A PhD, if you don't have one, GET ONE!