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A person you cant trust.
who is gender confused.
hurts a best friend.
pretends to be sorry.
Loves someone who moved on a long time ago.
stupid.
wasteful.
Unnecessary.
a liar.
an addict.
a cutter.
a bad father.
a louse.
perverted.
of two minds.
unmotivated.
sadomasochistic mild bipolar.
horribly afraid of nothing.

I did hurt her... So much. I didnt mean to.. And she knows I would do it again, for the sake of getting out of my mind. I am such a terrible friend and person. I just cant bring myself to care; about myself or others. Am I a pariah to be crucified joyfully after I crown a king? I really dont know.
SHE thinks I am doing better. She thinks im doing better in school because dad is gone. The house is just as empty as it was before.. Only now I am forced outside into all the unknown. Oh, what if I stay here and she tells me I am not me? Can I put away more of myself? Please dont let that happen.
Let no one find out. This is the one thing no one should know.