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I'd like to dedicate this to my older brother, whos Memo Book I found in my dresser. I thought it was just something I thought my mother was giving me, but after seeing the words written on the first page, I recognized the bad hand writing and knew it was my brother. I flipped through some cooking recipies, looking for something I could actually do, and found this little story.



"The mind is something that is unique. Something nobody has double of, yet everyone has the same ideas. Sometimes, the same thoughts. Why is this? Maybe the brain comes to some conclusion it feels is obvious? Why must other ideas be insane? Are they insane? Is different really just another word for mentally insane?" - Jake R.

"Where is the mind? In the brain? The body? Perhaps the mind is located in another plane or dominion and our brains and bodies are the gateways for the sensory information from the world we percive. Sometimes the gate could be faulty, concerning some mental disorders. Sometimes, more then one mindtries to use the same gate - multiple personalities." - Zack R.

It's been three years since my family was murdered by me. Well, I think it was me, maybe it was someone else and I'm getting the blame, or not. I can't really remember. Could it have been me? Yes. Was it me? No damned clue. All I remember is being sentensed to a crazy home for twenty years and I've been here ever since. I guess I did murder them, I mean there was evidence everywhere, I think. Well, along with going to the crazy house, I lost most of my memory, only shattered bits and pieces -like a broken vase- remain in my head. I remember laughing with my kids, getting into fights with my wife, cutting the turkey, a spatter of blood, then boom! A white blank page. I guess I was stuck with my fate as it was. I couldn't escape, the guards would see to that I'm sure. Last time someone tried to escape, they slit his throat and told the public he'd knocked out one of the guardsmen, took his gun, and was meaning to kill everyone. Well, that's what they told the public media and like a bunch of dopes they believed it and hopped right on board without questioning why the cut had been so straight, like the guy had been strapped down and murdered. Well, I wasn't that crazy, I knew well enough that escaping was nigh impossible. Or did I? Some part of me screamed to get out, to feel the summer sun beat against my body and warm every bit of me, the ocean water to wash against my feet, to feel the wind blow against my face and throw my hair back. That part of me was supressed deep back in my mind, something shattered -like a vase- and yet whole. I'm sure you think I'm crazier then
anyone else you've met -yes, even that pyro down the road who burns dolls for fun-
but I assure you I'm only mostly crazy.
My name is Zack Kevin, two first names yes I know, and I'm insane. In many ways, I am the normal man, I eat, sleep, and take my medication in the morning and before I go to bed. In others, I am quite... Different, a word that means crazy, bonkers, mentally unstable, you get it? I was found in my home, arrested, put to trial for murders I had no memory of doing. This was the first time I caught a glimpse of my looming insanity, which would grow worse with each passing hour, second, day, minute, month, year. I was on trial for about a year, the case was quite close and shut, but I had a good law man, whom I cannot remember. Anyway, I was found guilty on terms of insanity and taken to Windwood Mental Institution for the blah blah blah I'm crazy.
This place, with its gleaming white halls, pearly white toilets, and clean rooms is a nightmare for me. The place is eerie, quiet, dark, lonely, bright, loud, happy, and sad. Everything rolled into one, baby. In this lonely-dark-bright-happy place I'm just another crazy man with some word that nobody can say illness. Is it an illness? Maybe just a disability? No, it's an illness. This journal here, the only thing keeping my not-sane mind from running in cirlces and laughing at the teddy bears with knives, is the only thing I have in this room. The bed is covered in germs, the ground is better. There are no windows in my room, cushon walls, cushon floor, cushon ceiling, pretty much everything is a giant yellow cushon. I wear the same clothing 24/7 too, unless I soil it, then I get a new one, but that only happens twice a month.
It's Tuesday, the sun is shining I think, and te new Man took me and Fredricks to the rec room. We played chess for three moves then they took us back because ol' Freddie was eating the chess pieces and I can't be left alone. While we were talking back I noticed something quite strange looming in the smooth tile walls of the hallway. It looked like the swirl when you flush a toilet, spinning and spinning endlessly into a dark abyss. I was attracted to it, I could feel my soul seeming to slip out of me and into the vortex. I was the only one that noticed, the guards kept moving, and Fredricks was chewing on his hair. None of them noticed me drift slowly toward it. It smelt like cherries, then strawberries, as if it were a lure designed to capture stupid prey like me. I got closer, felt my feet lift off the ground, then I was gone.
I was looking in eyes that weren't mine, but were mine. As if my body had gone into auto drive. The lenses of my eyes were blood red, not sure why. I could turn my vision as if I were a floating set of eyes, and no matter how crazy this may sound to you, it sounds perfectly sane to me because it really happened to me. I pivoted my vision and looked at something I hadn't seen in quite a long time. It was the ocean, a beach house sitting on a dune, seagulls flying in the sky, the sun shining it's brightest, sand as far as my eyes could see, like a memory that had been shattered and this is the only piece I've found.
I slowly tried to move forward, and found I could FEEL. I glanced to see if my legs were with me and, by God, they were. I moved toward the beach house, feeling the soft sand crunching beneath my feet. I could smell the sea in the air, feel the heat of the sun against my skin. The ocean slammed against the shore, spreading it's waves farther.
As I neared the beach house and saw it was standing on wooden stilts. That triggered something deep in my Mind, something I hadn't been able to remember before. The beach suddenly got colder.
I climbed up it's wooden steps, the wood sounded as though it might break under my weight. The door was also made of a wood, it smelt like cinnimon. I grabbed onto the handle and turned it. Feeling the handle click, I pushed the door open and saw another vortex. This one, however, was emerald green. I walked outside, wondering what to do. Leave this wonderful beach head for unknown territory? Seemed crazy. I decided I would, but I would do it only after I explored some of this shattered memory. I strode along the beach, feeling the wavessplash against my feet and feeling the sand latch on as well. I was tempted to venture into the desert that lay before me. As I walked I thought about the memory, feeling something in the back of my head scream at me, trying to tell me it was there.
I finally walked back to the beach house, turned the knob, opening the door, and walking into the green Vortex. For a moment everything went verdigo, then I was on my hands and knees in a town. It was a nice looking town, little cars parked here and there, pretty little houses in neat rows, finely trimmed grass, and people. I pushed myself off of the cement road, rubbing off any little rocks that were stuck to my palms. I gazed around at my new surroundings. Some people moved, but very slowly as if they were apt to break their legs moving too fast. Other people stood perfectly still, doing things like sitting on porches with phones, watering their grass, or sitting in their little cars. I was confused, where had they come from? Why weren't the others moving?
I decided to ask one of the people moving. I walked towards one who was walking a terrier, who was also moving slowly. I was strolling as a liesurly pace. In no time, I was right behind him, walking as slowly as he was, I tapped his shoulder three times.
"Er... Excuse me," I asked, "what is this place?" No reply came and I asked again, once more, no reply. Angry, I stepped in front of him, and almost screamed at what I had seen.
The face was blank, paper white, empy. No eyes, no nose, only a mouth spread ear to ear with razor sharp teeth. I almost didn't believe what I was seeing and closed my eyes. I thought it was just mind tricks, maybe I was tired or something. But when I opened them I still only saw the grin. It seemed to realize I was staring in disbelief and grinned even wider. The dog had disappeared from the leash it had been on, and now the Grinning Man stood before me with a chain. He seemed to be moaning, and I could understand why. The mouth consumed it's own head, becoming a giant mouth. It lunged toward me and I jumped out of the way.
I didn't want to fight, I had no weapon, so I ran. I ran as fast and far as my legs would take me.

2

Soon I arrived at an old shack of a house, it was the only house that wasn't perfect. It stood more outward, it's lawn was a mess, windows were boarded up, and dust covered every inch. I was wary of the house at first, seeing as how everything in this world tried to kill me. The people did, anyway. I opened the door, figuring some giant creature would jump out at me and eat me, but if that didn't get me, the people would.
After running away from the first Grinning Man as I called them, it let out a sort of siren and the rest of the people began to move en masse towards me. I'd only just managed to give them the slip, ducking into an alleyway anf hiding in a tin trash can. They passed me by luckily, and I escaped with mustard stains and traces of god-knows-what smell sticking to me. I could hear sounds approaching now, I had to open the door and hide before they found me and ate my head for breakfast, which was NOT on any list of mine.
As I swung the door open, I saw another vortex, only this one was white, and spun in an opposite direction. Hearing the Grinning people getting closer behind me, I jumped in and felt a chill run down my spine. All of the sudden, I was thrown into a universe like glob. I could see the edges of it, I could probably touch them if I reached just a little. It was like being in the cockpit of a fighter jet. There were vortexes surrounding me, a green one, blue one, maroon one, and a black one. Slowly, the world began to expand, getting large enough to rival the Moon. I gazed around at the world set before me. It was full of the vortexes, some of two colours, some just one.
I wasn't sure what to make of it. The world had pretty much opened to me, I was looking into my mind. There were many colours, but images from the past were always painful. I had no doubt that the black one would reveal the murders, but was I ready to travel down that road? No, I didn't feel I was. I just wanted to go back to the real world and see the yellow cushon room and bounce against the walls until my brain fell out or until the docs gave me something to calm me down. I had no idea what to do now, with these... things set before me, would I get back home? Or was I stuck here until I died. As far as I knew, my body was on auto pilot and probably wasn't doing too good of a job.
The Mind before me was like space, or at least the pictures you saw in your science books. Small waves of pink dotted the edges of it, while bright portals littered the area before me. No white stars, those were white portals. Small objects drifted through the space of the Mind. Stop signs, photos of me, even a tree or two. As far as I knew, this place had lost itself. I thought -for the briefest of moments- that I could live forever in this place, but if there were guardians in the memories there would most likely be some in this Mind Space.
Then a thought occured. I could interact with the worlds, couldn't I put the pieces of this broken vase of a mind back together? It won't be perfect, but maybe it'll put my memory back together and I could finally go into the Black Vortex. I looked at my choices. Green, blue, maroon and black.
Black would have to be last, that would be the memory that scarred me.
Green would be the safest, since green means go and everyone knows green is good.
Blue would be a sad one.
and Maroon will be Blood.
Preparing myself to jump forward, I realized in the Mind Space, there was no gravity I floated. When I tried to jump I just rotated in a circle. I couldn't stop myself since there was nothing to hold onto, I just had to go with it until it stopped.
At last, after ten minutes about, the spinning stopped when I hit a broken piece of sidewalk floating in space face first, which hurt like hell. I quickly regained my senses, realizing any Guardian could come and attack me any moment, and swam to the Mind Gate. Once I got close enough, the Gate sucked me into it's abyss. I felt the same sense of verdigo, but at this point I was getting used to it and it faded quickly, like a dream after you wake up, no matter how hard it tries to stick with you, it fades into the back of your mind.
I prepared myself for the worst, prepared myself to see Death. Green was good, but it wouldn't be forgiving, my mind was corrupt thing, as I'm sure anyone's Mind is.
Strangely enough, I was wrong about it. It wasn't my mind I was in. I had just entered the Doctors.