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when did my life become a soap opera? A hot one? Mitchell has been gone for almost a week now. I can't believe it (knock on wood)...This might just have to be my shortest journal entry ever... because experiences last night were not only so damn amazing, but also so completely out of the norm for me that It's like I'm afraid that if I speak about them outloud, they would have never happened. Congratulations, something has finally made Ryan Sticksen-Glitter, of ALL people, completely and utterly speachless...

*blush* Let's just say that... when Rupert stopped in the Fest last night, a surprise, thanks to a bit of what seemed like meaningless banter and watching Souji dance, I learned something intriguing about Rupert...and a...erm. fantasy he had. Which, I dont know what it was, if it was just the timing with Souji standing there and the dance over or just the fact that I'm changing... sounded damn, damn good to me. Yes, this is your prudish, local Princess Ryan saying this. Maybe because I have been, admitally, starved for phsyical attention, taking in every minute from Rupert for loving that I possibly can. But from there... things happened. lots of things... including, to be brief and sparing myself a death of embarrassement (or hotness), me, Rupert, and Souji, a wall, and some desperete, long needed experimentation on my part (Why do I have the feeling I'm the one of the three who had never done something like this before. Oh wait, I haven't done much of anythhing...). I've never quite experienced something like that before... having them both there just heightened everything beyond expectations...and it was so completely unexpected, on a whim, animalistic? yes. no sordid details. right. It just replays in my mind. I just wish SOuji hadn't had to leave afterwards so abrubtly, but...damn. Maybe it was just a once-in-a-lifetime strange occurance, but I'm not going to lie and say I didn't enjoy it. A lot. *blushes*


wow. looking at my last two entries, it looks like all Rupert and I do is go at it like rabbits. Which is so far from the truth.... Lately, though, I've been needing him close so badly. I was taught that all sex wasn't something you did, even with someone you love, casually. yah, my folks were screwed up in the head. Even though Rupert and I have been going out for 5 months now, I'm still hesitant with a lot of things. And he's good to me, so understanding about it...I love Rupert. I love him.