"Carried away by a moonlight shadow..."
No one really reads these...so may as well just write whatever the Hell I want right?
I feel guilty all the time. I shouldnt, but even just saying that...I feel guilty. Guilty for having so much when so many have nothing, guilty for wanting to just have fun, guilty for wishing for more...
Nothing...seems to make sense sometimes. I'm such a 'good-girl', but I want things I cant and never will have. Things that don't even exsist. But that doesnt change a thing...because even if you like something, it wont make it real...
I'm tired of life...and then at times am so happy to be here. I overanalyze my emotions...ridiculously so. Thinking about myself thinking about myself think about something profound. Maybe it doesnt make sense...but its what happens...I just get mind spiraling so that I talk to myself and decide what it is that I feel, and why I feel it, and how ridiculous that emotion or feeling is. Sometimes I just feel like I am dreaming...oddly enough I remember my dreams better than my actual life. Like..I live only when I am asleep.
I want to succeed, but I don't want what I 'want'. I COULD be someone great...or at least some people think so...but maybe I just want to be happy, and be a nobody. Then I think...of my fear, being forgotten. I cant have that either.
Guess answers will never come. Let life come and give me its best shot. Just pray I dont die a virgin XD
 lost2darkness · Sun Oct 08, 2006 @ 03:41am · 0 Comments |
