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Today we had to go to the funeral of my aunt. She died of kidney failure, I guess. I can't believe I forgot who my aunt was...when my parents told me who she was, I just couldn't remember. I only remembered on the way there.
I was reluctant to get out of bed. I went to bed at 12:30am, and came back online at 4am for Miyoko's and Neo's wedding (Aww...so sweet of them...-^^-). I came a little late, but I somewhat came just in time. I stayed for another 4 hours, and I decided to go to sleep since I was so tired. My mom woke me up 2 hours later, but I refused to get out of bed. Another hour later, Mom woke me up again, and I was forced out of bed. I didn't feel like going anywhere. But, I had to.
We left the house at 1pm, and we got to the church about 45 minutes later. We came in while the priest was going on with his homily. We sat in the pew behind my aunt's family, and I couldn't exactly bear the sight of them trying to compose themselves after crying. My cousin eventually broke down, my very young nephew cried after the offertory...it was just too much to bear. I can't keep myself from crying -- I'm very sensitive -- so I cried as well. It's pretty much because I remembered a time we spent time with that family, while both my aunt and her husband, my uncle, were still alive. It was a great night, and I think that was one of then times I opened up and came out of my shell. This was two years ago. I just...I just remember that night, but for some reason, I have this strong feeling that I've forgotten very important that my aunt told me before. I hate the fact that I can't remember whatever it was.
Today was the first time I saw a corpse. I've been to many vigils, but I never really took a look at the deceased. The first dead person I've seen was my aunt...and when they put a picture of her up at her coffin, I compared...and I remembered the good woman that I remembered her as. I wasn't so close to her, but then again...I couldn't contain the tears.
Being the first real corpse I've seen, this was pretty weird -- it seemed as if she wasn't dead. Can someone tell me if coffins are ventilated? Because it seemed as if her eyelids were lightly (as in very lightly) twitching, and her chest seemed to rise, but at a very low level and rate.
I won't think so much about it...it was the first real corpse I've seen after all, and I was kinda crying before that and I had been sleeping all day...
We followed the...funeral car...I forgot the name for that...how can I forget...HEARSE!!! Damnit, I KNEW it was from the song "Helena" by My Chemical Romance... So we followed the hearse on its way to the cemetery. It's a tradition to walk behind the hearse all the way, no matter how far away the church is from the cemetery. But since we had a car and it was almost 2 kilometers away, we rode in the car. After getting there, we rode back to the city. We didn't stay for the burial since...we'd more likely cry some more at the sight of other people crying...crying is...infectious...especially after Dad saying that I was gonna go through the same thing soon...both as a mourner and the dead...it just made me cry thinking about any of my parents' or my siblings' or anyone-close-to-me's death.
What did we do afterwards? Oh yeah...shopping for groceries...bought the groceries, and afterwards to the liquor store...liquor...
Anyways, um, after that, we went home, and that was around 5 or 6pm. And then at around 7pm, I suddenly remembered the things I had to bring for Computer Science class tomorrow -- 5 8-pin RJ-45 connectors...the thingies used in computer networking. I rushed into some jeans and the blouse and shoes I wore to the funeral and outside to tell Mom that I had to go to the mall to buy some stuff. I got the things in time, and...here...I am...watching "Liar Liar"... sweatdrop sweatdrop
Okay...I'm not so in the mood to type anything else down...I feel a wave of apathy at the moment and I don't know what to talk about...*shrugs*
 Mary Hiryu · Sun Nov 12, 2006 @ 12:40pm · 0 Comments |
