Isn't it odd how emotions distort the mind? And even more ironic how said emotions can be triggered by the most unlikely of things?
Earlier this very day, I found myself in a position of growing anger. Though I lacked the convictions to justify it. Why did I suddenly feel like jamming my fist into the nearest anybody? Was it an urge influenced by my music? Seems unlikely, since I hardly relate to the lyrics... I relate more to the music itself, or at least pay more attention to it than what is being voiced. Words matter not when music speaks for itself. Produces its own mood and influences the heart to beat almost in sync with that of each note and strum. Which is why it irks me... something so pleasant if not beautiful to listen to... angering me? I mean, there were a few other aspects of my that could have triggered it... mom was poking at me all day and criticising me, though I think that may have been an unconscious action on her part. She doesn't seem to realize that the way her words exit her mouth can sound offensive at times... Or perhaps it was the fact that my parents had me running around all morning. As in, they woke me up to send me out... stare Blast, who knows. It's in the past now, so I guess it's best that I let it go.
But. You know? I find that the strangest of things can press my buttons when it comes to people. Do I expect too much of those around me? Just because I act a certain way, is it fair that I expect others to act the same? Perhaps it is not, since the human race is one of immeasurable variety. It would be impossible for someone to look at all things from a similar perspective as my own. I know some out there share my views on particular subjects, but that is about it, I suppose. Well, in case there is wonder floating around focusing on just what it is I speak of, my main concern is respect above all others at the moment. Most people my age are just too nonchalant to really notice if someone is being rude unless it noticably offends somebody. Comments, gestures, invasion of the infamous 'bubble'... often times actions are allowed to just be forgotten about in a matter of moments, but for some reason I tend to dwell on such things. Why can't they just say excuse me? Or why couldn't they apologize for being so inconsiderate to that person? Are they too high and mighty to offer a simple apology? And I am not speaking of any person or group in particular. This is just an observation, more or less, that has been resting on my mind for quite some time.... Like I said, I tend to dwell on things until they are resolved to some extent. Such a quality tends to drive me nuts though. =/
Ah well. For anyone who may have actually reduced to reading this gobble-de-gook, I am sure you are thinking I am just being uptight about the subject... And you are probably right, but I felt I had to at least say something about it as I have kept it in the back of my mind for a while. Usually if I get mythoughts written down somewhere, they no longer rest on my mind but on the pages where I place them.
(Quite honestly, as I reread this, I didn't see any logic or wordflow in what was written.... Guess that's what happens when you write as you think. It just comes out as a random jumble of text. Everything seems situated comfortably within your mind, but when it starts to come out, other thoughts are pulled with it...)
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