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Panda-tastic
My rants, not a life plan.



<center> Ages Of Empire II </center>

In school today. Nowish. Boredish. I want a Mc Donald's Egg Mc Muffin. I wanna sleep. I want my old headphones back. I want the PM system to work so I can read my mail. I wanna go home. I wanna go far, far away. I wanna play RO. I wanna fade away...

I didn't answer my phone all day yesterday. I didnt' get on the internet all day either. I went to sleep, as soon as I got home. I woke up at 7pmish. I did my Algebra project until it was completed, ending around 9pm. I called Isaac. I took a shower. I layed in my bed contemplating my life. Alone. I watched Family Guy, Futurama, and feel asleep halfway between Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I didn't want to wake up this morning. I wish I wouldn't of woke up.

I feel all alone. I feel lost and confuse. I feel dead inside. I feel like I want to cry. I feel like I want to die.

I called Isaac because he was honestly worried about me. I wanted to calm his fears that quelled. Quelled isn't a word. If it is, I used it in the wrong context. Isaac was relieved when I called. Since I was sick from taking those pills the other day he was worried sick I was in the hospital. I like Isaac, he actually cares about my well being.

I watched TV all day, instead of being on RO. I was bored. The cat slept in my computer chair. I don't like the cat.

Spring Break begins on Friday. I can't wait to be free. I can't wait to be lazy.

My mom hates me. I got caught. My sister told on me. I hate my sister. I can't go to New York for Spring Break now. I hate my life.

I keep thinking of Ronin Warriors. I had a wonderful dream of them. With Mia and Yuli and the Warriors and WhiteBlaze. It was snowy. We were all lost. I was so inlove with Kento. I love Kento. Kento didn't seem to notice me though. Just like every guy I "like". Boys are stupid.

My pinky nail is really long. I keep scratching myself with it. I want my hair straightend. I wish my cousin would talk to me. No one likes me anymore. Its not my fault. For once.

I have to take the ACT and SAT. I do bad on the practice tests. I'm scared to take teh real thing.

I keep thinkign abotu Chris. I love Chris. Alot. More than anything I can think of. Except Ronin Warriors. They win out in the end. I am thinking of Chris more than usual. It is weird to me. I miss Chris.

Josh doesnt' love me. Whenever we talk on the phone he never says "I love you" when we are about to hang up. I have to say it first. I dont wnt to say it first. If I say it first he will say it out of feeling obligated. I dont' want anyone to feel obligated. I want someone to love me for me. I want someone to be active in their feelings. It hurts. Alot. All he does is get mad at me. Since I wrote this here he will yell at me when we talk. He always yells at me. Always. He takes his fustration out on me. Always. I hate my life.

Travis is being nice to me. If you don't know who Travis is I will repeat it. Travis was my chubby "stalker" a while back. I used to hate him. I don't now. We exchange notes to eachother all the time. He tells me about his horrible life and I tell him about mines. He thinks his life is worse than mines. He has it wrong.

I'm bored. I'm itchy. Bye.






 
 
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