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A couple of days ago I like to say i did my one good deed for the year (use to be an inside joke within an old group of friends that has since gone their own ways. :/ )

On the 20th was Veronica's birthday so I was invited to go over to her place to hang out for the day. There were a few people there as well, most of which I didn’t know. Parties and social stuff aren't really high on my list anymore after... well yeah. But I went there because I didn’t want to disappoint another friend. Partway through the party I just went outside to sit for a bit to get some fresh air and whatnot. While I was out there from next door this lil girl came running out of her house crying and screaming at who i can only assume to be her older brother. Normally I just ignore crap like that but the crying was getting on my nerves since I wanted quiet. So i went to go find where the lil girl went to hide to cry. When I found her I kneeled down and calmly asked her what was wrong. She was a lil shocked that someone had found her but didn’t seem afraid of me, which I’ll admit was nice for a change. After a bit she finally answered my question and told me that her brother was being really mean to her and that he told her that Santa wasn’t real and she was stupid to believe in him. Normally i would have told her that he wasn’t real and whatnot since well she’s going to find out the truth one day anyways. Reason I didn’t this time is because really to do that to a lil kid this close to Christmas is just messed up in any book. So I told her, her brother didn’t know what he was talking about and to not believe him and that Santa was real. Course being a lil kid she fired back a bunch of questions. Instead of trying to answer all her questions I came up with a neat lil idea on how to get her back to believing in Santa and all that good stuff. Told her if she really believes in him and magic and all that good stuff kids are meant to believe in that she should take some tape and make a lil star on her bedroom window that night and if she really believes then something good might just happen. She seemed to really like the sound of that and gave me this really big goofy smile and surprisingly gave me a hug before running off back into her house. On my way back I spotted her mum and started a conversation with her and explained all that had happened and what I wanted to do. She seemed pleased at the thought.
I got back to Veronica's and excused myself a bit early but said I would be back in a bit. I drove down to some of the stores around there looking for something special. Wasn't till about the 3rd store I hit did I find what I wanted to get. I found this lil silver necklace. Nothing real fancy or expensive. Just a lil silver chain with a small snowflake pendant .I also got some wrapping paper and stuff. Think only a couple of hours had gone by when I had returned to Veronica's. By then most people had left already. Course her husband and her wanted to know where I went and what happened so I sat down and explained the whole thing to them. I'm guessing it’s her emotional side that got to her but when I told veronica what i was planning she cried a lil. I asked her husband if he could help me pull it off since well I wouldn’t be in town that night. He said sure and agreed to take the small gift and place it on the girls’ window during the night. Told him to make sure it couldn’t be blown away by the wind or really seen by the street since you know how people are. After that I said my goodbyes and came home. The next day about noon I got a call from them saying the lil girl and her mum had stopped by. The lil girl was as happy as could be. She was all smiles and just full of energy they told me. After a lil talk they handed the phone over to the girls mum. Even though I couldn’t see her I could tell by the sound of her voice she was a bit emotional as well. She seemed really grateful and happy for what I did and thanked me. During our talk you could hear her daughter in the background asking for the phone. When it was handed to her she went on a long ramble about what happened and just went on and on about it eventually they had to pry the phone away from her but not before I got a small thank you from her. So yeah that is what I consider my one good deed for the year.

I honestly can’t tell you why i did it after all my belief in a lot of things have been shaken if not completely destroyed this year. Part of my wants to say I did it because it was the right thing to do to make that lil girl happy. While the cynical side of me wants to say that if I’m going to be labeled as a liar and that it is all I supposedly know how to do then I might as well try to make someone happy with it. I really don’t want to get too much into it since there really is no point. Guess I’ll just say what I usually say, I don’t know why I do anything anymore.

As for the last thing I want to say in this entry is for any friends that may read it. I don’t mean to sound mean and whatnot when I say this but please stop asking me what I want for Christmas or what my Christmas wish is or really what any wish of mine is. When people ask me things like that I want to say dreams and wishes and hoping for such things if for ******** morons and idiots. Truthfully though reason I don't like getting asked that is because there is one wish i want to make more than anything in the god forsaken world but it’s a wish I will never make. No matter what happens or how bad things get it's just a wish I will never make. For a lot of reasons, but mainly 2. One because I don't see myself as deserving it and two, because it wouldn’t be real if came from a wish. So please stop asking me.




Azazel~