It has been a roller coaster of feelings and rethinking. I made the worst mistake of my life... I been with my grandmother for the past month because she was passing away. They gave her 3-7 hours to live and I told my future wife (I will get to that soon) I had to go and be there for my family mostly my mother who is going to be crushed by my grandmother's passing.
So here is the difficult part, I thought I had to break everything off because when something like this comes around I have a bad tendency of shutting off my emotions and not feeling anything even for anyone and I didn't want to put my future wife through that pain but even then... I still did... I hurt her bad and I being the stubborn one in the whole matter refused to listen to her pleas. Thats my first mistake.
A few days later I got to the hospital which my grandmother was in, and no it's not in the same city as I was in it was apart of another province in Canada. Seeing my grandmother is very important to me and I am very happy I saw her and helped where I could but when I was there she was so close then she started to become better so my mom said that we would stay for 2 week then it turned 3 week then a month... I don't want my grandmother to die don't get me wrong but I don't want her to suffer... it's.. kind of a lose-lose situation.
Back to what happened to Myself and my future wife, I was thinking about her 24 hours a day, some nights I couldn't even sleep because it felt so unnatural without her body beside mine...
When I couldn't take it anymore because I missed her soft voice and cheerful smile I left a text to her phone and seconds after she revived it she called. I swear I smiled ear to ear. We began to work out our problems and I just wanted to get back asap. I just love her and I see that no, I had to loose everything to see what I had and Im thankful to see this now.
Were getting married and goign to have children and I dont want to ever leave ever again. Now Im always goign to work out my problems and she is always asking to help and im going to take her up on that.
I love you Faith.
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Behind my green eyes...
My life entries of my day to day experiences .
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