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I'm so %??!#@!$ I can hardly write
I can hardly think straight
Like the day I met you
Realized I loved you
You loved me too, at least I think you did
Maybe you just tried to cushion the landing of my falling in love with you
But it turns out you placed the mat a few feet off
So I hit hard anyway
And now I'm sinking
Now I'm thinking
How long had your cherade gone on?
Why can't you just say it to my face
That I had no chance with you
That I should just look for someone else
That I could never be loved back in the same way
To give up early.
No
You're not that kind of person
You can't stand being brash like that
But now I'm crazy for you
Now I get jealous over you
Now I can't get you the hell out of my head
I didn't think I'd need to.
To think I mistook your hesitance and uneasiness for "playing hard-to-get"
How funny.
Let's laugh!
Let's all laugh
Laugh at me
Laugh at my stupidity
Laugh at my dreams
Laugh at everything I hoped, wished, prayed, desired, tried to realitize.
Everything that involved you and me
None of it was heartfelt or true,
Was it?
Now I'm laying here broken and empty and lonely and %??!#@!$
And you never knew
Because I never told you
Because I couldn't put it in words
Because I didn't want to hurt you
Because I didn't want you to think I was weak when I started crying
Because I still love you
Because...
I am....
A fool.....
And I've come too late......