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Ha ha ha b***h....XD Confident Courtney has returned >:P
Day three...third day...hour 48...and things aren't any easier and I don't hurt any less.
I'm thinking right now...about everything. I didn't go to school today. I'm not going...
My mom got mad at me. She went to work, though, and I ignored her. I just stared at the ceiling crying. Its all I feel like doing any more. I just pity me. I hate me. I dispise me. I really don't want to live anymore... And on this third day these feelings have done nothing but intensify.
I'm home alone, and yes contemplating suicide. I most likely won't do it 'cause I'm a punk a**...but this is one hell of an oppertunity I should take advantage of. I can't, though, because then Isaac wins. Isaac wants to think I needed him and I don't. I dont' need anyone.
...of course, I dont' trust anyone now either.
All I can think about is how ignorant and ******** patheic every guy I know is. Something I have been failing to realize that every woman around me already knows...men are selfish, cocky, ignorant pigs and are only out to keep themselves happy and people they think deserve to be happy with them. No man is diffrent, no matter how hard he tries to act like he is. The only exception I make to that is Chris and Joey, because Chris is still the greatest guy in the world and Joey seems like it too.
Knowing that all guys are like that just...pisses me off so much. Everyone always says stuff I never want to believe...thats not a happy thought. I dont' want to think about that in my quiet hours. Atleast there are more women in the world then men. 3nodding
...you'd think that thought would make me happy or something, but its not because I'm not feminst. I hate women and girls too. Women are almost worse...lieing bitchs who are also mean, selfish, and scheming. What sucks, is that guys are attracted to that kind of girl.
Its always the loud b***h who thinks she's "the s**t", the best, the greatest, blah-blah-blah, that the guys always want. She has more of a male following than anyone else. Why are guys attracted to girls like that? Why would you want someone like that? It jsut doesn't make sense to me.
<center>"Its what every guy wants, an arrogant loud b***h to call his own!!!"</center>
Why? Why would you want a girl like that? The one that doesn't care about you unless your doing something for her. The one that isn't even sure she actually likes/loves you. One that causes trouble and then your lame a** stands around to defend her when s**t gets to deep. You wipe her a** and do as your told because you love her. She makes you happy, she's the best, she's the greatest, blah-blah-blah.
stare I am becoming so ******** anti-sweet guy. Every sweet guy I know is attracted to that kind of girl. They let the bitchs pumble their hearts and they stand there like their p***y-whipped and let the girl do whatever she wants to them becaus theylove her. She makes them happy, she's the best, she's the greatest, blah-blah-blah. stare Its so stupid. God forbid I say something because then I jut ******** lose all my popularity points withthem. stressed Why are guys like that?
I mean...I tell them what the girl is doing because I have seen girls do it to other guys and they dont' even ******** listen to me. Its like I'm speaking to a dog or something. Its not like I have been wrong yet either, the same s**t happens and the guy is always so depressed over it. I'm just standing here watching these bitchs ******** up my friends becayse they're to fuking stupid to listen to me. I'm really starting to not care anymore. I mean its like I'm just quitting for good. You won't let me help you then why the ******** should I even try?
Apparently these "nice guys" like to be hurt. They like to have the bitches crush their heart, hopes, and aspirations of love. Hmm...what is that called? The girl is the sadistic one...whats the word for people who like to be abused?
Beh...I can't remember. I read the word in a Candidate for Goddess (which is an awesome anime series and manga) fanfic with Yumagi ********, I cant' remember their names. Well...teh short boy with the purple hair and the mean guy with the silver hair...those two were bangin eachother and the silver hair boy was mean and he'd cut the boy, bring him pain and stuff while they were doing it just to make him hurt becayuse his sadistic a** got his jollies off that... sad ...and like, the boy knew it was wrong but kinda liked the pain and stuff even though he felt it was wrong so he let him do it because he loved him and he hoped it would get better...
Nice guys set themselves up for that s**t. They deserve what happens ebcause they want it to happen or else they would listen to what I AND EVERYONE ELSE am saying and stop ******** with these bitchs and get those nice girls who are to shy to admit their feelings and stuff....
And no I'm not saying me. I admit all my feelings I have for a guy. I mean...all I do is say I like the guy and he just backs the ******** off me. Like I'm wrong for liking him or something. Because he's sittign around and waiting for the bitches who dont' even want him. Why would you want someone who doesn't want you? Love is no excuse. Yoru ******** weak and you dont' want to move on becayse your a pathetic ******** person not worthy of life.
... sweatdrop that was mean....but still. I know to many guys who are "waiting for her" to make up her mind and pick him. She hasnt' the past three ******** years (or however long, the time frames slide around). Do these girls even SEE the pain they brign my friends by making them wait? Wait...no, no no no....the girls aren't doing anything wrong.
Its the guys fault. In almost every case I know of its the guy who doesn't wantto move on. Even AFTER the girl said she didnt' want him and he should find someone else. Someone please ******** explain to me why that is...why do guys suffer for a girl who clearly doesn't want him and then become depressed about it and s**t? Its not love, they were never in a relationship with the person & you cant honestly love someone in that way who doesnt love you (or even want you rolleyes ), ya know what I mean?
Hmm...and in the two cases the girl didnt' tell him to move on, she is in another realtionship or is having to hard of a time in her own life and teh guy just won't move on. Thats ******** pathetic. That is why nice guys finish last....because they're waiting for someone who doesn't even want them. 3nodding
Its why I don't wait. Waiting isn't for me. I asked everony I knew if it was wise to wait for Isaac and they didn't know. They said if I "thought it was worth it" I should wait. Teh, Isaac doesn't want me, Isaac doesnt' love me, and unlike those nice guys I'm not going to torture myself in the oh so very slim hope that MAYBE they'll pick me. MAYBE I'll be wanted. I'm not pathetic, I know I can experiance more things with better people than waiting ona person to make up their mind if I am WORTH it, to them. I know I am worth it. I'm not being a cocky b***h either (like all the nice guys want rolleyes ). I just have value in myself, and if you can't see that value in me then you arent' worth waiting for. :3
Thats the way it is...
Tee hee...I'm chipper again.
Maybe I should go to school after all &.& I dunno, don't really wanna. I'ma hang with Joe today : wink wink :.
Another thing I noticed about Isaac...hmm...he may of "liked" me when I was with Josh...but after Josh dumped me the first time, Isaac didnt' ask me out. rolleyes I hate a guy I have to interrigate to ask me out. stare Isaac said he was shy and whatever, but still, if he really liked me he would of gathered the strenth and asked me out hiself. He didn't, and when I thnk of it neither did Alche.. Hmm....wow! Look its a trend! Guys who I have to talk to about going out tend to give me a relationship thta DOESN"T WORK OUT! Wow...hmm, two times I have tried it and it didnt' work. I dont' plan on trying a third time.
You guys wanna be punk a** bitchs then do it on your own tim. 3nodding I'm not sweet talking anymore nice guys who like me to ask me out. Your most likely waiting for a b***h who doesn't want you anyway rolleyes So go wait for she who will never pick you...and I'll be livin large with my happy self and my grand experiances while you sit in the back, goin on 25 and still a virgin waiting for Miss Nobody blaugh
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