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omg *screams* im almost 17...-_- in a little less then a month. but it feels to me like im running out of time...im not sure...i guess i feel older then i am so yeah. but what did i even do this year. nothing great *remembers the year of 16* ok...*sigh* bad year lol. it was good for the first month though^^then little parts were good. like most of the cds i own i got this year...haha but yeah. i wonder when it will be that i die...yes i know im very young...but i know i will die very young too soo yeah.

a few years back a dreamed about being this age....well to be 18 but you know its only a year. i had plans....i was going to move in with my 20 year old bf (there was a 5 year difference between us) and go to the college in the town he lived in. i was going to get a job someplace downtown and that was going to be my life after i turned 18...no longer. there is no ******** way anything will ever happen again with my ex (why does that feel weird to me to call him my ex?), im not going to even try to go to that college, im just not going back to that town. i got no planes now...just you know high school, get job (when i feel more stable), go to college...you know the normal s**t....i dont want to get older!!!!!!!!!!!!