With each passing day, living hurts more and more. I can't stand the pain, why won't it end. I hate the act I've endured for so long. I wish I could stop, I want to stop, but I know if I do, it will be more painful than I could imagine. I wish for someone, anyone, to share myself with. Not just the surface information, not just my favorite color, but who I am and what I truly am like. To this day, I don't have anyone who truly knows me. Not even my best friend; and he can't know, I don't want him to know. I've seen how he acts, I know how he'll react. I know him. It hurts that the closest person to me can't even know me. I want him to know me, I want to share who I am with him, but I can't. It hurts. It's a dull pain that keeps me from wanting to do anything. But I have to do something, I have to hold up this act. I can't let anyone see me. Not even my friends, not even my family.
There are only two ways this pain can end. One way is to find someone, anyone, who knows and understands me; the second, death. I hope it doesn't come to the latter 'cause I can't live with this pain long enough to see death... I just can't.
 haruki_jitsunin · Wed Feb 06, 2008 @ 06:58pm · 1 Comments |
