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I've always always always believed that life should be a balance of everything everything everything. (redundant enough for ya?) Because no matter what part of life you look at, there is no black and white area. You can never say "you should always do this," or "you should never do that". Even now, the last sentence was untrue because I said 'never'. So, you should probably take that with a grain of salt, becausethere probably are instances out there where you would say 'never do this'.
NEVER cheat on your spouse. NEVER lie to God.
But these exceptions, as you may have noticed, deal more with moral law than human law. Which sort of ties in with the actual reason I'm wiritng this entry.
I sometimes have trouble with my faith, I'll be the first one to admit. I do believe in God, don't get me wrong, but I'm human and I've had my inclinations toward doubt. Not so much as with God Himself, but with the way we are supposed to live our lives.
I have been to many contradicting sermons in my life. One Sunday, the preacher told us to never settle, always shoot for more. The next time I came, which was a while later, he preached about be satisfied with what you have!
Which message are we supposed to take to heart? Both, of course. Life is all about balance. Until I realized this balancing act, I was driven crazy by his preachings, so much so that at one point I cried because I was in a situation that I wasn't sure whether I should have settled or gone for it. (I wound up going for it, by the way. I can't settle)
More recently, and a little off topic, but this entry is a mix of things, I had a thought on forgivness.
The way this ties into 'balance' is because I always believe that everything in life, including people/emotions, are balanced in their own way. Look at an extremely stern person who doesn't like to display his feelings. This person most likely won't display feeling of happiness or sadness, because his 'personal pendulum' swings very little ont he scale of emotions. Now, take a very emotional person. His 'personal pendulum' swings pretty far both ways, so when he's happy, you'll know it, and when he's depressed, you'll know it.
Now, forgiveness, like everything, is on a scale. The pendulum, being the individual person, can swing towards forgivness, but he emotionally has to be able to swing just as far to the other side: hurt. However hurt that person can get, he should be just as forgiving. At least, that's what my balance philosophy states.
Then why do I disagree with it sometimes?
My pendulum swings very little most of the time. If someone apologizes, then I immediatly accept because most of the time, I am not offended or hurt by his offense; however, even when I am deeply hurt, I still accept the apologies. I may be furious inside and never want to speak to a person again (this doesn't happen very often, but still) I would accept the apology and fume in my room until I was over it. My sinful indulgence is that I hold grudges. I may be mad for days or weeks while the other person thinks we're totally fine (usually a family member) When I think about it, I can be very unforgiving. I'm either that, or not emotional at all.
Is that bad? sweatdrop
But, believe it or not, this entry isn't supposed to be about me. It, as stated previously, is about faith and my inability to accept some teachings.
The pastors and fathers and popes and ministers and whatever-else-ers all teach forgivness. But, have they really been hurt? As a messenger of God, they are taught to not let things bother them. So, if it doesn't hurt them, then how could they forgive the offense? Don't you need to be hurt in order to truly know what forgivness is?
Or maybe it's not even about having to be hurt. Maybe just learning to let things go is enough. To hear horrible things and not let them bother you: is that forgivness?
I'm not one to spew these things. And I severly apologize if anyone was offended when reading this. And that's not just a courtesy apology, I would never want to maek someone doubt their religion, these are simply questions in my head. It's your choice to answer them.
 Qua Quidam · Tue Jun 24, 2008 @ 07:17pm · 0 Comments |
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