The 1-2-3 Magic program for raising children is specifically a designed program that a professional has developed. I take no credit for anything in the establishment of the program. I was taught it via a mental health facility. I love this method and I would encourage anyone to try it out. I will find out which doctor it is that promotes tihs product and will get his name in here as soon as possible. I love this program and credit it for any luck I've had in raising my children.
Basically, the 1-2-3 Magic program includes these basic beliefs:
1. Children know, in general, what is right and what is wrong.
2. Children will tune out a parent who preaches for long periods of time.
3. Children will learn quickly as long as the parents are consistant.
Here's how it works:
***there should be an initial short conversation which lets the child know what the program is and how long their time-out is and where it will take place -- this isn't a give and take discussion, it is to tell the children what is going to happen**
1. Initially, a parent will have to say what is wrong. For example, "Billy Bob, you can't hit your sister." And then the follow up is -- "That's 1."
2. If the bad behavior continues within a reasonable time period the next act gets only "That's 2."
3. The last statement is simply "That's 3. Go to . . . " wherever the spot is. Depending on the age of the child they should go where they're supposed to and can even keep track of the time they need to stay there. Younger children will require a bit more follow-through making sure they've gone where they need and get out of their spot on time.
4. If the child immediately continues with the behavior being addressed upon leaving their room, they immediately get a "That's 3" and don't get to start over. If the behavior is better and later, significantly later, the child starts up again, then the parent starts back over at "That's 1."
5. This is important -- the parent cannot do more than the initial pointing out of the problem in as few words as possible; once the child has been corrected, it's over and done; if this is absolutely not working then a private time with the parents and child may be needed just to make certain the child understands what the repetative problem is.
6. Certain acts or behaviors immediately cause a "That's 3. Go . . ." These are dangerous things, activities which directly threaten or challenge the parent's authority, and any actions which the family or parent has deemed totally unacceptable. It's important for the child to understand what these might be before they come up.
This program works amazingly well with special needs children. My autistic son would actually tell us "That's 1" when he did something wrong. He didn't always catch himself before he did something, but the premise that the child knows right from wrong was demonstrated by his catching his own behavioral mistakes. We only used the official program for about 3 years. However, it was always there and I would often remind the kids with "Do we need to go back to the magic?" That's all it took. I never got to even "That's 1" after about 2 or 3 years. Amazingly enough, my children understood so well that they'd JOKINGLY (that's important) say "Mom, is that 1?" when I lost my temper. They'd also mention that's 1 or magic when they were interacting with each other.
I've seen so many parents with children who are disrespecful to their parents and other people as welll and the parent simply gives in to the behavior and ignores it or goes on and on to their child about how awfully they have behaved. Neither of those options seem to work well.
One other thing that I especially love about this program is that my children (19 to 14) use it on children they spend time with. My daughter nearly runs a volunteer day-care room where she uses this basic set of rules. The children who are most difficult with their parents will behave magically with her. Hence, the name of the program, I think. My daughter doesn't even realize she's using the plan because it's so logical.
And with that, I must go. I only wish I could use 1-2-3 Magic on my husband. smile
Mittxe Community Member 
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