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I’m so mad at my body right now! Everything that it could do to be a pain in the a** right now, it’s doing. I’m going over to stay at a friend’s aunt’s house later today. Her aunt has a pool, which is why we’re going over there, so it’s literally the first time in probably a couple years that I get to go swimming. Guess what I get? My period. It makes it so hard to swim, especially since it’s my first day, so I’m bleeding heavily. Some months I don’t bleed that heavily, but of course I am this month. Then I have the cramps to deal with. For the first couple of days of my period I barely feel like walking, let alone swimming or anything else my friends and I might do. Plus, being on my period drains me of energy, and I’m feeling pretty weak today. Then, because of the cramps, I didn’t sleep very well, so I got about two hours less of sleep than I normally get. So I’m crampy, lethargic, and tired right when I get to hang out with my friends. This happens all the ******** time. I have no life, so I’ll have nothing going on the whole month, and then if something does come up, I’ll get my period, right when it’s the most inconvenient to deal with it. I seriously want a hysterectomy. I don’t want kids, so my uterus serves no purpose but to make me feel like s**t for a whole week every month.

Then I think I’m breaking out with two cold sores. I won’t be able to treat them, because I can’t hang out with my friends with two gobs of medicine on my face, so they’ll have pretty much all day and all night to fester and grow, so they’ll be huge and disgusting by tomorrow morning for my friends to see. Great. Plus, they’re not where I normally get them, they’re down on my chin more, so they’re even more noticeable. My body sabotages any social event that it can, I think.

On a side note, last Friday I went into Borders, and Mike wasn’t there, but he showed up when my mom and I were checking out, so he must have been at lunch or something. I saw him from across the store, but of course I didn’t approach him, or even make eye contact. About the time I got out to the car, he texted me saying “Just missed ya.” I just said that I didn’t see him, and said some other things, but he never replied back. Nothing shocking there. But then Sunday night he texts me and says “When we hangin out?” WTF?! I’ve only exchanged a couple of text messages with him this whole past month and he didn’t even come up to me in person, and he wants to hang out?! He said he wanted to hang out before, and then never contacted me about it again. Again, WTF?! I think maybe he has multiple personalities or something. He hasn’t texted me back again though, so he’s probably going to pull the same s**t. I’m fully expecting him not to get back with me, and I’m not excited like I was before, but I still can’t help feeling anxious. Part of me wants him to text back, just because I want him to want me. You know how it is. To relate this to the above paragraphs, part of me doesn’t want him to get back with me, because I don’t want him to see me with cold sores. But if he ever was going to make serious plans to hang out, with my luck it would be now, just so my body can sabotage me. I’m angry at my body, my luck, and at Mike for jerking me around. It just makes me angry at the whole ******** world.