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Not feeling well...not feeling well AT ALL. I hate decision-making...I hate waiting on others...I hate it when people rush me...I hate it when I wanna go out, but I have things to attend to...But most of all, I hate the effects of a bad decision -- regret. Regret sucks a**...
I'm waiting...but then I want to spend time with my Mom and sis. They left about less than 5 minutes ago, and I'd rather spend time with them than keep on waiting. I haven't been a good girl since...that time...that particular time...I don't know where this is gonna be taking me...I've been so mean and bitchy lately, and I'm not liking it. How much more when it comes to people I b***h at. Hayato was right... AM pessimistic, and it's not doing me any good...whatever negative things he said were right...and if you go telling me I'm low on self-esteem and positivity, you're just repeating what everyone else says, and I have to admit it's true. I just...need to break away from everything for once. I need a break. I want to rest for a week. Like...just...sleep... I'm just tired of everything. And YES, I know I am so weak. I've kept my strength up for 16 days now after that hard blow. And...it's slowly draining more and more. He told me to be strong...I just can't when it's like...I don't know how to keep my strength up when he's not around...THAT'S very nice...I'm such a fool...a pathetic fool...
Is it so wrong to actually want to go but can't? And when they leave, THAT'S the time you want to go. You feel guilty about it. ******** conscience is messing with me. I would be moody at first, but what's a little getting used to it? It'll be better later on. ********. *goes to sulk in bed and goes into submission*
I hate you all...don't like it? ******** you...I'm in a bad mood...ignoring me would be best...
 Mary Hiryu · Sat Sep 30, 2006 @ 02:40am · 2 Comments |
