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The Funniest KeyBlade Story
Ever (we think...)
You’re laying in bed one night. While you’re sound asleep, an object starts to float from it’s resting place. You hold your favorite teddy bear as you drift through your dreams. Suddenly, you wake with a start when something appears in your hand. You look in horror as the head of your bear flies off and rolls on the floor! Protruding from the bear’s body is a long, flat, slender, stick with a hard spider web sticking off it. Then the room fills with a bright light from under your bed! You close your eyes to shield them from the glare. When you muster up the strength to open them you see that your room has disappeared! Floating above you is your lamp. It is suddenly surrounded by a light that shines a beam towards the sky and creates a keyhole. A giant, stinkin’ keyhole. Below you is a giant, shiny, three-pointed crown. You look for a way out of this weird place. Everywhere you look, the place seems to go on forever. You begin to walk to your left in the hopes that you will find a way out of this shiny, not sleeper friendly place. Since you think it goes on forever, you start to run. Just a suddenly as the idea to run had hit you, so to did the wall. You slide down like a cartoon character. After a good three hours, you can feel your face again. Once you determine that you don’t have a concussion, you realize that, that stick is still stuck to your hand and you bear. After a lot of fuss you get your bear’s body off the dumb stick, only to find that it has a handle, and no matter what you do, it stays on your hand. Then the bright idea of throwing it comes to your mind. You chunk that thing as hard as you can. After five minutes of walking in the opposite direction, you turn to see if it is still gonna come back. You don’t see it, but the ground below you catches you eye. That dumb crown is still below you! You run to the wall and look down. You can only see part of the crown ‘cause it’s kinda gone under the wall. But none of that changes the fact that you’re still in the middle of a glowing crown. You turn to walk away when a crushing pain hits you in the face! (the jaw really) As you sit there in pain you feel a cold bar beneath your hand. When you look, you see that stupid whatever it is. You take the time to examine it. You find that is has two buttons, one red and one blue. You push the red one and a web shoots out the end! When you release the button the web cuts loose of your “blade”. (as you call it) You look up think ‘how dumb’ when you see a great sight. Your room! Your glorious, gorgeous room! You fire the web and it hits the floor. You hit the blue button thinking it will pull you up to your room. You hang there as your room gets closer. But, something’s wrong. Your going up but the floor keeps getting closer too. Eventually, your feet hit the floor and the bottom of your room is so close you can bearly stand up. It seems to be morning now. Your mom calls you for breakfast. You can smell the eggs, waffles, and bacon. Your mom comes up and unlocks the door to your room. With you nowhere to be found, she just assumes you aren’t hungry and walks off with the door wide open. This is truly a bad thing. You lock the door to keep out you drooling dog and little brother. Both of whom, enjoy torturing you. This is your worst nightmare come true! You can see who comes in your room, but you can’t stop them from destroying your stuff! Then the horror movie begins. Your little brother has seen the open door! He runs in and opens all your drawers! Removing all of your delicates and running around with them on. He also finds your Limited Edition, KH2 Cloud Action Figure. As he plays with the sword Cloud is holding, the arm breaks at the shoulder and falls to the floor! Then he’s called for breakfast and he runs off. You sit there mortified. Cloud was the one thing in your room that you had spent bushels of money on. And now your poor Cloud was broken! You think that it can’t get any worse when, the dog comes in. You lock him out ‘cause you don’t want him to drool on your bed. The first thing he does is jump on the bed a drool on the pillow. Then, he shakes his head and slobber is slung all over your room! You sit there thinking that things couldn’t possibly be any more awful when, your dog sees Cloud on the floor. He runs over and scoops up Cloud in his mouth! He tears Cloud into little pieces and then knocks all of you pens onto the floor. He then puts all of this in a pile that falls through the cracks in your hardwood floor. You pick up a pen and you draw little faces on your fingers you think to yourself ‘these are my last and only friends I can trust. (they turn on you an hour later and you knew you’ve gone insane) Eventually, you decide to point the stick at the keyhole. The tip lights up and a beam goes into the hole. You close your eyes as you here a locking sound. When you open them, you’re in your room on top of your bed. The clock says it is the exact time you left and your bear’s head is still on the floor. Good news though. Cloud’s in one piece. You realize that you had been in a hole for some four years and you are starving! You go downstairs and get some food. While you eat, you here a noise behind you. Then, you feel something hit you and you here a snap. It seems your dad thought you were a burglar and hit you with a baseball bat! He can’t see squat without his glasses. He raises it again to hit you when you finally convince him that you are his kid. He digs his glasses out of his robe and believes you. You go to bed thinking the whole world is a stinkin’ mess. What a night!
 Tsume Rokaro · Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 10:33pm · 0 Comments |
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