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I dunno what it is. Right now I just feel so lost with everything. I have no clue what direction anything is going in. I don't think this is the reason but my heart kinda aches over it. I feel so awkward because I'm used to being the one with all the answers and solutions to problems. Things seem desolate. People are vanishing around me, some people have changed and turned on me, complications with Corey haven't made things much easier, I still don't know what waits in my future whether it's comfort or I am going to continue to be this way for the rest of my life. I think maybe my vision problem is starting to finally reach the surface. It's affecting my self-esteem in a weird way. I can't drive. The government has made sure of that. Because of that I can't find decent work besides little odd jobs that pay crap. I get weird looks from people when I tel them I am visually disabled. I know that it's hard for any female to look at me. I understand that one. That has to be a big burden on somebody else to tote somebody else everywhere and the woman is supposed to be dependant on the man not the other way around. Man I feel like I am bitching and being a total p***y but it's how I feel. You can't help feelings can you? I feel like I've been done bad the past little bit but in a way I can see why because it's something hard to put up with. I have to put up with it everyday and it bothers me so I totally understand who else would want to put up unnessicary burden that they shouldn't have to put up with? I've been in the dumps the past two days and I duno why. Oh well, just ignore me I'm just ranting.