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Well, here I am. I finally feel somewhat better about myself after all the people (not mentioning names) that have trashed me, used me, and manipulated me have done their damage. Now it is time for the recovery process. My mind and soul are very broken and I'm searching for the pieces. It seems as more damage is done over time I have less and less of the pieces. I've realized something very important recently and it seems it ties in significantly with my life and here it is.....Nobody and nothing in this world are how they appear to be. Most the people that seem to have the kindest souls are the ones that are liars, tricky and backbiting. The ones that tend to rub off as rude and cruel these poor souls are the ones that actually have very big loving hearts that have just been hurt so badly it's the only way they can cope with it. The things that have happened to me recently (and that I've done to myself) has shown me the true meaning behind this message. I see the world in a new light. In this new perspective I am thoroughly searching again for my long, lost self. There's a piece of me that I haven't seen in years and I don't know if I'll ever find it. It may be age keeping it from me. I miss the old way I viewed things. I miss the old way I felt and loved and cared. It was a child's mind and a child's heart. How this twisted and sick world with the filth inhabiting it is rotting. I feel sympathy for all of this around me and in me. I am ready to do what I can in this world to shed some light to those who have none. I want to give hope to those who suffer like me. I will give everyone my heart as they need it but beware those who seek to hurt me and those in the past that have and still do. If you try to knock me down I will be as solid as stone and then I will grind you into the dirt like the trash that you are.