Nothing to be alarmed about, just another life update. its a mixture of important and non important thingies, but thats basicly what life is all about, things that are important to some, but meaningless to others. i'll let you guys be the judge on whats important or not at the end of my rant but yea, i've been pretty ina and out of my brain lately. i guess you could say (like i always do) that i'm sorta insaine, or atleast visiting their for the weekend. sweatdrop
So, first theings first, the important things thats occuring in my life rightnow at the moment. for those of you who don't know, i haven't told yet, or i have told and eitehr don't know or care too much, my Aunts been havings ome health issues as of late. one week in, the ext out. well, last mounth she went in again and stayed their at the hospital for a few weeks. 3 i think. they were helping her to be more independant and get around more on her own since its mainly just her and her husband, Uncle Joe (you guys can call him that too if youd like) the thing is, that uncle joe is also prettyy sick. he had cancer in his lungs last year and luckly had it removered befofre it got any worse,b ut the after effects of the ordeal left him to be a meare shell of his former self. he's the type of guy that you'd find under "good husband" ever sice she first gotr sick and had to go to the hospital, he;s been by her side threw it all, even ignoring his own health at times just to make sure that she's doing well. so naturaly with my aunt in the hospital, he wanted to be theri, but thanks to key-mo theraphy and his slowly fading muscle mass and health, he just couldn;t go as offten as he wanted, adn was basicly reduced to having to talk to her on the phone.
Now, with that being said, if you have a loved one in the hospital and you want to do something but can't, more tha lkely you're gonna worry yourself sick over them. and yes, thats basicly what my uncle did. i'm not trying to sound negative ain anyway cause i do seriously look up to the man for all he's done for our family. but with his pour health, andhis wife in the hospital, his world was just sorta shattered a bit. so he stoped eatting like he should, (he was having trouble keeping it down in the first place, adn with now one to force it down his throat, he just din't eat) and forgettign to take his medication, plus bills and grandkinds, he had alot on his plate to stress about. so, by the time my Aunt was preparing to get out, he was being sent in. thsi happend last week, like 3 days after i'd last seen him. his conditions not so good, and is on the border line between life and death basicly. last i heard he was in a comma but he's still moving, adn i did hear that he did open his eyes, but he can't talk and his life is in the hands of a machine cause he's still too weak to breathe properly on his own.
Now, ontop of all this, my outher aunt (you can call her Aunt C) went into the hospital. it was before my uncle and during my first Aunts stay. unlike my other Aunt. Aunt C is very frail and weak. has been for years now, but its mainly because she's had like 2 stokes in her lifetime. also, she doesn't move around much, nor has the will to move. she mainly just sits in the dark at her apartment all alone basicly and watches tv all day. naturaly she's very very lonely but does have visitors and a friend that takes care of her. the reason she did go to the hospital was due to her friends concern of her. she wasn;t taking care of herself and was basicly just staying in one spot all day. who knwo sfor how long, but..well basicly she wasn;t getting up for anything or to do anything...and i mean anything. so the doctors took care of her and today she was finaly released, which is good. but she's going back into the very same appartment. now, for a sec, just imagion what an alleyway might looka nd smell like. box that in and add a few nic-knacs and thas basicly what my aunt lives in. and its all by her choice. her kids (who are nearly as old as my own mother, who's past her 40's lets say) do want to take care of her, but she's leaning on the hopes that the place she's living at will get her a new appartment. they promised her one a year ago. still no word on any open spots, even though their whole section was empty for a few mounths....yea, my thoughts exactly.
now, how do i fit into all this? i don't personaly, but my mother does. see, my mom is a helper by nature. its similar to wher if i see a friedn in need i do what i can to help them out. thats what my mom does for her sisters. the thing is is that her sisters are the taking type. so when you have somene who takes, take takes, and throw in a giver, yu're gonna have more drainage than reciving. its like a vending machine. you put your doller in, but nothing comes out. you oput another one, and then anotehr one. eventualy you're gonna start kicking and screaming at it. lol, lucky for us, the kindels are pretty level headed. yes, we do get pissed off, but we don't (or rather try not to) expolde on others, espcialy when it comes to family. so my mother goes to be by her sisters aid, and she comes home, then back out to worjk, then straight over to the hospital, stays with her sister, then comes home and talks to her nice with 5 kids and here her worry and complaints, (and in the back of her head, ask why the H@$^# she's not taking care of her mother herself) then tells herself that she needs to do more for us, while we (me and my brother) try our best to lighten her load, do what needs to be done around the house, cook our own food, (even though she';s the type to wer if she's not doing it, its not perfect) and yea...thats pretty much how lifes been around here for..well most of august and all of september.
Oh!, and my aunts back in the hospital agian, but she's alright for the mostpart. its and equal share of worry on her since her husbands now in the hospital, and his son (he has his own set of kids who are grown with kids, but when he married her, he came all the way up here to live and be a fatehr to her kids. wher eare they now? they stop bye form time to time. you know, to say high, wash their cloths, eat something. make sure their alright. borrwo some thing and then leave. oh, and tv wathcing too.) his son came down to take care of her, and he's basicly new to all of this, since she does need someone to look afte rher, to wash her and cook for her. she's on an oxygen tank, which she's been on for a while, but her trak (which is in her throat adn helps her breath) has to be chaged every now and then, so..yea. he's a huge help but also pretty scared adn worried himself. think about it, your fatehr sick and in the hospital, and you have to care for someone who you sorta know, but not really. and you're doing all these choars plus cleaning out her throat...yea, definatly a tall order. but you must give credit where its due.
but, mainly all i can do is pray for them all and hope that nothing too bad happens. i know my uncles a strong man, so it was hard to see him in the condition that he was in, and now to hear this has happend to him basicly out of nowear, plus my aunts health all falling. then to top it all off, my motehr, who talks her thoughts outloud, walkign around talking about them being in nursing homes and being called back home (AKA: heaven) yea...but anywas, nothing for any of you to worry yourseves about. just alot on my mind is all.
speaking of my mind (yes, i'm moving on to another subject. a littl more brighter, but still dim) i've been feelign abit strange as of late. for starters, i've been seeing the very same butterfly every day for...a number of weeks now. its a monarch butterfly. and i always see it around the same time of nearly evey day. first, i'd se it on my walk home after getting off the tarc bus (public transportation bus. or city bus if you will) and i didn't think much of it, til the next week when i noticed the patteren. everytime i turned the corner he'd be theri, and whould always float over the bushes of that old factory place thingy. it was bizzare to me, but i started to think about it. then got parranoied about it. and now i'm sure its a sign of some sorts. sofar, what i've figured is that its a metaphor for me and my life. remember how i always youed to say i was the pepper moth? (never really said it too much) or how i'd compar myself to being a butterfly traped in its coccoon. and the metamorphis i wen t threw and now emerging from it into something between a moth and butterfly (good and evil or yin and yang) well, i think the butterfly is telling me of my future. or that this is the part of my life where i define myself as a man, who i want to and will be in my years to come. cause a monarch butterfly is the king of all butterflies (so i heared, hince its name) but...also i'm thinking its like a bad omen for me aswell. like death or something. who knows, only time will tell.
other than that, lifes been alright i suppose. schools beign school. nothing new realy. if you go to school you know what i mean. (same old same) Art wise, i'm getting more into my work and prodjects. making more deadlines fo rthings to do and get done by. trying to perfect my craft and dedication a bit more. adn as far as taht love story i keep babbling about. i honestly don't know right now. its still theri, and the story is hopeful. but theirs a bit of mist thats starting to creep up in the room. so its definatly gonna be fun to see what happens next. will it be a happy ending? or will it just have some lame moral lesson? only time will tell. or time will just tell me to get a watch and stop stairing at it. (time can be a bit grumpy at times) but...yea taht s basicly it. sorry for the long post. and don't say sorry about anything. just pray for them, my mom, and my family. thats all i ask, and thats all i'm gonna say about it. til next time campers mrgreen
T-Man V3 Community Member 
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