sorry for the long delay, but i'm alive and moderate, if anything. lol, in other words, mello as always. sweatdrop but yea, alot of junk has happend over these two months, and within that, not much has happened at all really. the most important out of all of it i think is that i'm beginning to grow and strengthen more spiritually and mentally. and naturally i have to thank a special friend of mines for that. thanks to her, i think I’m finally beginning to walk that road to adulthood with a new sense on life. kinda like buying a new pair of glasses, they may look old, but when you wear them, your vision just improves almost out of nowhere. yet t first it seems as if nothings happening at all, as if you've always seen things this way, yet you know that something’s different. anyways, to avoid the silly riddles and rambles, i'll try to sum things up as shortly and longly as possible.
mainly, my life has taken an interesting spark or leap recently. finaly got a job working a dominos. its sucky yet ok, nothing to jump up and down at since i still don't know anything about rolling out (or as they say, slaping0 the dough, but i can at least put toppings on, make a sandwich and take phone calls...i'm kinda like that spaire tire, not realy needed but i'm nce to keep around just incase. ever since i first started i've had the feeling i'd be fired. hasn't changed yet, and i'm not really getting comfortable with anyone, even though they want me to. i haven't been trained really by anyone so i'm sorta like a toddler at this point, monkey see, monkey do. tell me to do something and i do it to the best of my abilities, naturally. i never complain about anything and as always i'm not expecting much from this job. its just something, which is always better than nothing. only time will tell how long i realy stay, but i just have an odd feeling about the place. nothing seems to last very long there, people included, and every day some new twist enters the scenario. so every day I come in, I just do what I do and what I’m told to do, take calls, sweep, fold boxes, help out were I can. but I still feel pretty useless there, and I’m sure its going to be a long time before that ever changes.
anyways, on to a bit brighter topic, schools going ok. it was a challenge at first balancing the two, but now I’m used to it. just more tired in the mornings nowadays, but I sleep well at night and homework gets done around time…not always on time, but most understand why and are ok with it. home life is the same as ever, only difference is I’m not home as much since right after school I only have a bout an hour or two before I have to catch the bus again for work. the hours roll by quick when you’re brain dead…lame joke, so on to the next topic. my life personally. hmm…hard to say. like I hinted at, I have been feeling a certain spiritual boots now from a good friend of mines since at first I was very low. but now more than never I’m having more visions of me as a father and asking myself what I really need to do to get to that level in my life. I know I still have a lot of areas to grow in and I think this job will defiantly help raise some of those parts up. as for love and that little story, its sorta not really a factor to me anymore. what happens happens is how I feel about it nowadays. I know for the most part were the cards lye for me, and for who ever wants to cash in. but I’m not really into the game, nor was I ever. whenever she decides to come along, something will happen and I’ll be smart enough to react for once, til then, I have other things to focus on that honestly a lot more important. self development being one of them. but yea, I kinda just feel like if anything my whole life right now is focus on reaching a certain level of comfort from within, not determined about how others feel about me, but how I feel about myself as an individual. the never-ending pursuit of happiness and eternal sunshine. I’m old enough to know that the rain is as necessary as the sun rays, so I take my days how they come. whatever lies ahead for me, lies ahead for me. but I’m not going to wait for everything to become peachey doodle daisy for me, I know the things I want and the level I need to be at for myself and those around me, I need to reach out for. I realize my weaknesses, and thanks to people like you, I’m realizing my strengths now. so if I never told you this, or said this too much to you, I just want to thank you once again from the bottom of my heart for being here in my life today, tomorrow and hopefully in the future. I know I play a he role in some of your lives, and I take a lot of responsibility for you guys, especially if we talk a lot.
and even if we don’t, for the brief moments we do, or just when you stop by my page and I have something that influences you or sparks a thought in your brain, I want to make sure that whatever mark I leave you is always a good and positive one. I never want to let you guys down, lead you in the wrong direction or harm you in any way shape or form. and the things say to you now is exactly hwo I want to raise myself to become as I get older and mature more in my own ideals and beliefs. my only wish in life is to be a good father to my child, or children, however many I’m blessed to have. I want to do as much as I humanly can, and I know I can’t always do right. I know days won’t always be joyful and I know I’ll fall short at times or fall on my face here and their. but I also know I have angles like you looking out for me, watching over me and praying for me. so for that, once again I thank all of you for being apart of my life, and for allowing me into yours. and also sorry for the long post, lol, my heart has a mind of its own sometimes. he realy missed you so he wanted to leave something sweet til next post. well, I’m done for now. thanks for your time. til next time.
T-Man V3 Community Member 
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