Dear Jello Enthusiast,
When I received your letter requesting more information on Jello I cannot tell you how excited I was ((because that would be rude)). I agree with you entirely, Jello is fantastic, amazing and wonderful. In fact it would not be wrong to capitalize those words to add excitement. FANTASTIC, AMAZING, WONDERFUL! Excess exclamation points would also be acceptable in this case.
To answer your inquiry the best quality of Jello is the fact that it is completely versatile. And this is not just my opinion, it is common knowledge. Anyone can do anything with Jello.
It can be frozen solid or liquified! Put fruit in it! Put vegetables in it! Or marshmallows! Make cake with it! Mold it into any shape! Put alcohol in it! (Please jiggle responsibly.)
However, please take note that if you do make Jello shots you must use at least half on the recommended amount of water. This is because alcohol seems to block the magical process that is required to make Jello solidify.
Yes, Jello is magical. When it first appeared in 1845 people thought that it was some kind of alien matter. However we have come much further in the field of science since then. We now have come to the understanding that we shall never understand how Jello works, or where it came from.
But we can rejoice and embrace Jello anyway. And the good news is that it comes in so many flavors that it is impossible for anyone to ever grow tired of it! We currently sell 32 flavors. I know, it's unbelievable. Here is the list:
*Apricot *Berry Blue *Black Cherry *Cherry *Cranberry-Raspberry *Fruit Fiesta *Grape *Green Apple *Green Tea *Kiwi *Lemon *Lime *Margarita *Melon Fusion *Mint *Mixed Fruit *Orange *Peach *Pina Colada *Pineapple *Raspberry *Red Apple *Strawberry *Strawberry-Banana *Strawberry-Kiwi *Strawberry Daiquiri *Tropical Berry *Tropical Fusion *Wild Cherry *Wild Strawberry *Watermelon
In addition to these wildly success flavors we also have nearly as many that were at one time on the market but have now been discontinued. They aren't necessarily bad, just unnecessary. It's often sad for us to see a flavor go. I myself used to enjoy a bowl of Mixed Veggie Jello on a hot summers night. Though I do hope that the madman who created the Bubblegum flavor was promptly fired after taste testing, there is just no excuse for such a grotesque creation.
But all personal feelings aside, I'll put the discontinued list below and allow you to pass your own judgement.
*Apple *Blackberry *Black Raspberry *Bubblegum *Celery *Chocolate *Coffee *Cola *Concord Grape *Cranberry-Strawberry *Italian Salad *Lemon-Lime *Maple Syrup *Mango *Melon Berry *Mixed Vegetable *Orange-Banana *Orange-Pineapple *Passion Fruit *Pineapple-Grapefruit *Plain *Raspberry-Mango *Root Beer *Seasonal Tomato *Sparkling Berry *Sparkling Mandarin Orange *Sparkling White Grape *Triple Chocolate *Tropical Fruit *Wild Raspberry
Hah! It's crazy the things that people can come up with... I am sure that you can pick a few things off that list that just make you wonder what on earth we were thinking of. Notice, for example, the Raspberry redundancy- it seems to be a flavor that we always come back to. And then there were so many un-needed combinations of flavors. We figured that if you want to make Lemon-Lime Jello, buy a box of Lemon, buy a box of Lime and then mix them. If you haven't been mixing flavors then you haven't been enjoying Jello to it's true potential. Also, if you are going to make something to taste like a beverage, go alcoholic, that's what seems to work. As for the vegetable flavors, don't knock it until you try it. And it's discontinued...so you can't try it. So hush.
Yes, Jello is amazing! The way it wiggles and jiggles! And it makes people giggle! And it's low fat, so eat all you want, you won't get too ...biggle...
Ahem. Did I mention that there are many non-edible uses for Jello as well? Oh yes!
For instance, you could fill a pool with it and have the best ever party! In order to get the Jello to set up though you must do this in cold weather, so please take that into account when choosing your attire.
Also inserting everyday household items into Jello makes them much more interesting, and can cause humorously embarrassing situations. This trick was recently made poplar by that hilarious and well known TV show The Office.
Jello may even be used cosmetically! One teaspoon dissolved into warm water makes a tasty smelling lotion. Use it as hair dye, making your hair turn any color of the rainbow ((please avoid areas populated by bees)). Or use it was hair gel, style in any fashion! Jello is capable of making your hair stand straight up for at least a week! It's Fantastic!
You can even use Jello for house cleaning. Although every time we have tried this the end results have always been a bigger mess than when we started, therefore we don't recommend this use of our delicious product. The janitors are still upset about that time we tried to use Jello to clean the toilets...
So there you have it, Jello lover. Jello is amazing and magical. It is not alien. It comes in many good flavors, and many bad ones as well. Biggle is a word. And the uses for Jello are unlimited, though not always useful. Please continue to enjoy Jello, we appreciate your patronage!
Wiggles & Jiggles,
The Jello People
Xx Mosakra xX Community Member 
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