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Or fitter, at least. See, despite the fact that I weigh roughly the same as a Chicken McNugget (71 kilos/ 11 stone for a 5' 11" medium build male is pretty petit) a worrying amount of that weight appears to be in belly form. And not, for instance, in muscle form. And because this is not a desirable state of affairs I've decided to change my lifestyle a little.

Previous lifestyle:
Eating utter crap.
Sitting/lying around playing computer games.
Consuming large amounts of beer.
Walking, but that's only because I can't drive.
Fidgeting.
Going out clubbing.

New lifestyle:
Avoiding MacDonalds, KFC etc. but otherwise eating slightly better crap.
Sitting/ lying around playing computer games for less time.
Consuming slightly smaller amounts of beer.
Walking still, but now with the addition of press-ups daily.
Not having enough energy to fidget.
Not being able to go out clubbing due to having no money.
Playing Dance Dance Revolution until I fall over.

I'm aware that there is still distance to be gained. For instance, I am not unaware of the irony of me typing up about weight loss onto a computer. There is no exercise bike at this keyboard, and seeing as how it's a public access computer room there is unlikely to be in the near future. And as everyone who's ever read a newspaper or mothering magazine (not me!) knows, Computers are Bad. Not only do they encourage wrist strain and various nasty blood flow problems, but I seem to remember as I was growing up that the computer monitors we used at school had 'Low radiation' inscribed upon them and that the one that I'm currently sitting in front of doesn't. Not that that's a major worry, since at this stage in the game, turning green and buff would only be an improvement.

So anyway, that's it. I have BIG plans this summer, and they would be helped out greatly if I had less belly, and also possessed muscles larger than sweetcorn (although it's working already; my muscles have grown to peanut size). Also they would be helped out greatly if I won the lottery, developed some talent of any kind and suddenly gained superpowers, but for the moment I'm just working with what I've got.

Still, maybe I can do something about the lack-of-superpowers situation. Did I mention that this monitor didn't have a 'Low radiation' sticker on it?

victoryusagi is a bored writer living in West Sussex. He is half French and half English, and so half of him saved the other half of him from becoming German during the war.