I played tennis today for the first time in about a year.. I can say it was almost fun, I though I was depressed when playing it, so it made it a little difficult.. By the time I was done playing though I had a headache was seeing double and I think I was very dehydrated... I don't think I should have quit.. After leaving I feel like I should have kept playing until my body reached its limits, at least then I would feel like I tried as hard as I could.. My legs feel like jello right now, and my shoulder hurts, but I'd rather my legs be in pain and my shoulder be nearly unusable.. It makes me feel I'm worth less for giving up on it so easily.. If I would have kept going until my body quit, I don't think I'd feel this way.. Maybe that's part of the masochism in me though... At the moment, I'm only experiencing a little depression, about what I feel when I'm out in public keeping a public face, my head is killing me, and I'm thirsty, but I don't really want to drink anything.. I haven't eaten since waking up but am about to eat a little breakfast.. I think I've lost too much weight recently... I want to go back and play tennis but, I'm sure my friend wouldn't want to after just coming back, so next time I go, I'm going to do my best to play until my body won't respond properly to what I'm saying, afterward I believe I'll feel like I've accomplished something for the first time in awhile...
(To me.. Good Luck, and remember don't give up, as one inspiration to you, do the impossible break the unbreakable, see the invisible touch the untouchable, just remember to fight the power, always keep those words with you, to remind you to never give up, even if it seems you can't keep going, remember to always fight your hardest)
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The pain of destiny..
Not sure what I'm planning to write about but I'll write when I can..
When you take your own life, you've given up on all the people you could have made happy in the future...